Poopie List
THE AFTER�POOPIE
The smaller poopies that seem to proceed behind the first primary poopie.
THE AFTERSHOCK POOPIE
This poopie has an odor so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.
THE ALIEN POOPIE
You look down and say "No way did that come from my arse!". All the evidence is there but you still refuse to believe that you could have dropped such a strange looking poopie. The only explanation to this poopie is there must times when your body is completely depleated of melanin and it extracts all the pigments out from your last meal, leaving an almost white poopie.
THE ALIEN POOPIE
You look down and say "No way did that come from my arse!". All the evidence is there but you still refuse to believe that you could have dropped such a strange looking poopie.
THE ALKA-SELTZER POOPIE
When the said poopie bubbles, fizzes and foams when it hits the water.
THE ALMOST MUSICAL POOPIE
The sounds made when your poopie started to come out; you swore you heard the beat to Aerosmith's "Walk This Way" in there.
THE AMAZING POOPIE
This is a poopie that once you make it you sit there and enjoy the smell because to you it smells great (yes a poopie can smell good is it wrong?) but nobody else agrees.
THE AMPHIBIAN POOPIE
This rare poopie is so long that half of it is sticking out of the water. The only way to get it to flush is to break it up into small pieces with the nearest stick-like object, usually someone's toothbrush.
THE ANACONDA�POOPIE
It's the kind of poopie that is so long that starts down in the whole of the toilet and curls around the toilet bowl until it reaches the surface of the water.
THE ANDREW POOPIE
Like an old friend named Andrew, this one just never quite goes away. Apparently it considers itself special. Bring a book, cuz this one is NEVER finished.
THE ANEAMIC'S IRON POOPIE
The result of taking iron tablets regularly over a long period of time - Almost totally constipated and a real strain to get out. When you can poo, it feels really wide and makes your bumhole feel like it should be bleeding, but it's such a relief. Also, it should be noted that this poo is normally very dark green/black in colour and always sinks to the bottom.
THE AROMATIC POOPIE
The kind of poopie assited by air freshener. �The smell just overpowers your bowels causing Turd-Paste erupt from your ass.
THE ATOMIC POOPIE
You sit down, let one out, and the water splashes back up, hitting your hole. This usually will make you jump.
THE BACK-TO-NATURE POOPIE
This poopie may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
THE "BASEBALL BAT"�POOPIE
A poopie roughly the length and width of a baseball bat that, after being extruded, hits the bottom of the bowl and leans forward, slapping you right in the balls.
THE BATHTUB POOPIE
You thought you were making bubbles, but much to your suprise .....
THE BLIP POOPIE
This small yet compact poopie flies out of your ass sending a geyser of poopiety water onto your ass!
THE�BOMBARDIER POOPIE
When you stand up on the toilet rim and squat in the air and say "Bombs Away" and the turd drops from your butt into the commode and splashes nasty poopie water everywhere just as you say "BOOOOM".
THE BOMBSHELL POOPIE
A poopie that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to poopie (i.e. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near poopieting facilities.
THE BORN AGAIN POOPIE
The kind where it hurts so bad you think you have found God. �Often very dry, granular and about 5 inches in diameter.
THE BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE POOPIE
Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead poopie". �You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
THE BUDDHIST POOPIE
The one that requires an hour of meditation.
THE BULLPOOPIE
The kind of poopie that you get from eatting lunch with your boss.
THE CANCER SCARE POOPIE
You look down into the bowl and see all this red colored poopie and think, "God, my colon has lesions that are bleeding!" Then you remember you had beets last night.
THE CARELESS�POOPIE
You know you're going to be on the turlet for a while, so you decide to take your socks off. When you're lifting your leg up so you can pull your sock off, your shlong comes way up too and you piss all over the floor. (Am I the only one who's ever done that?)
THE CHAIN LINKED POOPIE
Did I eat invisible string? One continuous poopie, with numerous pieces apparently connected by some magical force - also called a "sibling poopie."
THE CHAMPANGE POOPIE
This is the kind of poopie were you sit down, wait a while and then It happens. �One, sometimes two "cork" peices come out and then your ass explodes with a foam like poopie. This ussually results in the toilet water changing from a clear color to a dark brown.
THE CLAY POOPIE
The poopie that is so big, hard and so difficult to get out of your sphyncter that you have to stand up and sit down a few times to mold it into the right shape to get rid of it.
THE CLEAN POOPIE
The kind where you feel poopie come out, see poopie in the bowl, but there's no poopie on the toilet paper.
THE CLONE�POOPIE
When you're poopieting at a gas station, and your poopie looks exactly like the poopie that was in the turlet when you got there.
THE COIL POOPIE
A very long and continuous soft poopie, about the width of a pencil which coils up at the bottom of the pan. Usually accompanied by a soft whimper from the poor unfortunate donator.
THE COLLEGE STUDENT THAT COMES HOME FOR THANKSGIVING POOPIE
The most solid poopie the student has had since going to college.
THE CONTEMPLATED POOPIE
Does a poopie in the toilet make a plop when there is no one around to hear it?
THE COME BACK�POOPIE
That poopie that seems to go away after you flush the toilet, but comes back. Then, you flush it again, and it still comes back. the only solution to this problem is to crish it up into smaller particles, and flush.
THE CORN POOPIE
No explanation necessary.
THE COUGHING POOPIE
Even though you went two minutes ago, you cough and a wet pebble hits your pants.
THE CRACKER POOPIE
The poopie that resembles that cracker you had a few minutes ago.
THE CROWD PLEASER POOPIE
This poopie is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.
THE CUBE POOPIE
Seems topologically impossible, but perhaps once in a lifetime you will get cube like poopies about the size of ice cubes - worth a polaroid!
THE DAIRY QUEEN POOPIE
The effect is a nightmare, it circles to the left and quickly escalates to a perfect cone shape and then surprise (like the porridge poopie); it's on your ass lips.�
THE DANGER POOPIE
The one where you have to evacuate the country until the smell goes down.
THE DEAD WEIGHT POOPIE
The kind where when your done you feal 10 pounds lighter.
THE "DEATH WISH"�POOPIE
You don't poopie for 2 days, while eating spicy wings, Taco Bell, mexican food, and chinese food. Then you poopie so hard, fast, and sloppily, it takes 1 day to clear the smell out, and 2 rolls of toilet paper to wipe with. �And hours of toilet scrubbing to get the skid marks off the bowl.
THE DESERT STORM POOPIE
Am I eating too much bran or did someone shovel sand into my mouth last night while I was sleeping? Granular sand like poopie that can actually form sand castle like tower structures if expelled on dry land.
THE DEW POOPIE
When you poopie and it looks like dew and smells like dew.
THE DIARRHOEA POOPIE
This occurs when your not feeling too well, and need to be sick. you go find a bucket, and just as your vomit starts to do it's thing you desperately need to go for a diarrhoea poopie. Therefore you have a choice of puke down your front or poopie down your pants.
THE "DID I DRINK A BOTTLE OF ACID?" POOPIE
Think of taking salt, alcohol, and iodine, cutting your eye open, and rubbing it in the open cut; this is what your asshole feels like as a runny yellow substance squirts out. (Much worse than liquid poopie!)
THE "DID IT JUST EAT THAT OTHER ONE"�POOPIE
You crap out 2 small logs, but when you look in the bowl, only 1 medium sized one remains. (Note: You can also poopie out 2 mediums and end up with 1 large.)
THE "DIDN'T KNOW I HAD TO"�POOPIE
A poopie that starts to come out when you are peeing and you cant stop peeing to turn around and sit down to take a poopie because it stings. So you are left with 2 options (a) try to turn around to poopie and spray everything as you turn around. (b) stand there and see if you can hold it 'til you are done peeing.
THE DIETICIAN'S DELIGHT POOPIE
Shit that both sinks and floats in your toilet, proving to anyone who cares that you had eaten a proper diet.
THE DINGLEBERRY POOPIE
This is a living poopie. After a well taken poopie (often "Rabbit" poopie), you flush. However the "dingleberry" never goes down. It sits at the bottom looking up at you. Often you leave before you see it. The next person usually finds another stall because they are afraid of the dingleberry, as if the dingleberry is saying, "Go away. Get the hell out of here. This is my home."
THE DISOLVING POOPIE
The poopie that came out solid but them disperses and turns the water all murky brown.
THE DODGER POOPIE
No matter how many times you wipe, you can't seem to get it.
THE DOG POOPIE
Yep, looks just like a fleshy dog poopie.
THE DOUBLE DUMP�POOPIE
It is that rare occasion when after a gratifying major poopie and a relaxing pause prior to paperwork, another unexpected but entire poopie happens leaving one almost out of breath, feeling slightly hollow inside and almost intoxicated with a satisfaction of true accomplishment. �Perhaps best appreciated by the middle aged portion of the population, this event can be celebrated and euphoria extended by going directly to the couch for a nap.
THE EFFICIENT�POOPIE
This one only takes a moment to do, because it's already halfway out when you get to the restroom. A useful technique to learn.
THE EJACULATE POOPIE
This is the type of poopie where its all gone but you know there's still some poopie left. the poopie comes out as if you had just ejaculated a whitish clearish semen out of your asshole. *(sort of like liquid poopie and porridge poopie, but its whitish clearish!!!)*
THE ELASTIC POOPIE
This poopie comes out, goes into the can, then feels like it's back in your ass again.
THE ENERGIZER VS DURACELL POOPIE
Also known as a "Still Going" poopie.
THE EVERLASTING POOPIE
This is when you haven't been to toilet for about 2 days and when you do a poopie, it's all thick and sticky and about 1 metre long.
THE EXPANDO POOPIE
This poopie feels small coming out, but blows up like a balloon as soon as it hits unpressurized space.
THE EXPLODING HEAD POOPIE
You strain and you squeeze, you squeeze and you strain, you need a pair of forceps to get it out before your head explodes.
THE FACE THE MUSIC POOPIE
When you are poopieting at a small, quiet, cramped apartment and you know that there is an earth shaking fart that is going to come out before the poopie.
THE FARTY POOPIE
This poopie comes accompanied with numerous farts and squeaks. It usually happens at work with your boss in the next cubical.
THE FEMINIST POOPIE
It doesn't matter how it comes out or what it looks like, it's always a man's fault.
THE FIRE IN THE BOWL POOPIE
The kind of poopie that singes the hair around your butt from the big feed of Mexican food the night before.
THE FLAMMABLE�POOPIE
poopie that's highly flammable. It's very difficult to identify, unless you happen to be smoking on the turlet.
THE FLOATER POOPIE
Characterized by its floatability, this poopie has been known to resurface after many flushings. This bugger refuses to die. The only way to get rid of it is to pick it up and toss it out the window.
THE FLOCK OF SEAGULLS POOPIE
You drank some very yeasty beer the night before, you're driving along the only stretch of freeway with no service station for the next 50 miles, you skid to a halt when you get there, drop your pants on your way in to the trap, and there's an immediate explosion, followed by the realization that there's a new mottled wall-paper on the wall behind the bowl.
THE FOAMY LIQUID BEER POOPIE
Comes with a hangover, and its foamy.
THE FOUNTAIN POOPIE
This bog-rocket shoots out your arse like a Scud missile, and sends a high-powered jet of water upwards which instinctively hits you right in the ring-piece.
THE GARDEN POOPIE
There is a queue for the toilet, you are desperate, and it's already half way out. Only one option - Dump it in the back yard.
THE "GALLON 'O' PORRAGE"�POOPIE
'Nuff said.
THE GASEOUS POOPIE
When you swear your going to blow something like a power dump, but ends up being two super propelled poop pellets followed by a huge explosive aftermath of methane gas.
THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD POOPIE" POOPIE
The kind where you want to poopie, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
THE GHOST POOPIE
The kind where you feel poopie come out, see poopie on the toilet paper, but there's no poopie in the bowl.
THE GOLF COURSE POOPIE
It happens when you are the farthest point from the club house and you feel the diarrhea coming on again.
THE "GOVERNMENT"�POOPIE
The Kind of poopie where you have to go so bad, that you would pay $30,000 for a toilet.
THE GREAT BROWN SHARK POOPIE
This is the one that keeps following you under water, the faster you swim the closer it gets and all you can hear is the the attack music from JAWS before you drown. Way to go mate!
THE GROANER POOPIE
A poopie so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
THE GUEST BOOK POOPIE
This may be different for each and every one of us, but to the individual, this poopie is so monumental, that a party is thrown and a guest book signed to witness this spectacle. If deemed great enough it could even become a "Guinness Book of Records poopie"!
THE GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS POOPIE
A poopie so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.
THE GUM-BALL POOPIE
This is characterized by small, pink (..green, white or blue..) spots that result from swallowing your gum. You always want to tell somebody about it.
THE HELL OUT YOUR ASS�POOPIE
The poopie 2.5 seconds after eating hot wings.
THE HEMROID POOPIE
This is where one pushes and grunts so hard an unsuspecting blood vessel near the anal orifice ruptures sending a hot spray of blood into the toilet bowl. � Once you have one of these poopies it will happen again and again until a Proctologist fixes the situation.
THE "HEY LUCY, I'M HOME" POOPIE
You flush the toilet, it all dissapears, but a second later, one floats back.
THE HOMELESS POOPIE
Where you eat your poopie, no toilet needed.
THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" POOPIE
This is any poopie created in the presence of another person.
THE HORIZONTAL POOPIE
When the poopie lays horizontally and seems to be stuck. �When u flush the toilet, the TP and other after-poopies seem to just flow around it, until finally it folds into the hole to go down.
THE HYPNOTIC POOPIE
Shit where you finish, look at it, and it's so beautiful, all you can do is just stare at it in wonder and delight.
THE "I HAVEN'T POOPIE IN A WEEK" POOPIE
On the verge of using an eniema, you know you have to go, or else...
THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" POOPIE
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.
THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" POOPIE
When the bag of Dorritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
THE IMMORTAL POOPIE
You walk into a public toilet, there is only one cubical and you come face to face with the previous occupant's floater! What do you do? You can't dump on top of it because you might do a 'fountain' contaminated with other persons poopie-wash. So you spend the next 10 minuets trying to flush someone else's poopie that wont die.
THE IRONIC POOPIE
You have semi-needed a crap all day: the feeling is there but you just can't be bothered going to the loo. You decide to go out, confident that you'll be able to keep it in till you get to wherever it is you are going. However, halfway between your starting point and your destination there is a rumbling down below. You haven't got enough time to go back or go forwards and you have to either find a bush or else cack in your pants!
THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" POOPIE
Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap poopies. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" POOPIE
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
THE "I THINK THAT ONE WAS ALIVE"�POOPIE
When you flush, one of the logs seems to be clinging to life as the water rushes around it, as you look at it finally falling back into the bowl you try to save it, but by the time your hand gets a few inches from the water it's gone, and you wonder if it actually had life.
THE "IT'S TOO LATE NOW" POOPIE
After holding it in for too long, you try and go, but nothing comes out. You know it's still in there, though... Needless to say, very frusterating (and uncomfortable).
THE JACK THE RIPPER POOPIE
The kind of poopie that tears all the hairs off your ass as it comes out.
THE JIG-SAW POOPIE
This razor sharp log is like a Picnic bar. It takes two steps out, one step back and progressively jig-saws your arsehole.
THE KING POOPIE
The kind of poopie that killed Elvis Presley.
THE KITTY POOPIE
The poopie that after your finished it makes your clothes smell like cat crap.
THE KLINGON POOPIE
This poopie clings to your ring-piece no matter how much you shake and jump up and down. Even 'biting' at it with you sphincter muscle won't shake it loose.
THE LINCOLN LOG POOPIE
The kind of poopie that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
THE LIQUID PLUMBER POOPIE
This kind of poopie is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log poopie.)
THE LIQUID POOPIE
That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute. This is not a poopie, it's more of a transparent oily type substance that squirts over your arse-cheeks, the seat, the rim, everywhere except into the water.
THE MACHINE-GUN POOPIE
This poopie is essentially a liquid poopie, except for the periodic interruption of the solid lumps shooting out in a rhythmic pattern.
THE MAGIC POOPIE
Possibly the most perfect poopie. It is like the "Clean" poopie in that you don't have to wipe, but like the "Ghost" poopie it dissapears. You do feel very relieved like you have done a good job.
THE "MAN, I WANT TO FINISH THIS MAGAZINE ARTICLE BUT HERE COMES ANOTHER BURST"�POOPIE
You're perfectly fine reading your Sports Illustrated article and you get to the good part when, BHAM! a turd feels it can't wait any longer to meet our cold bright world.
THE MARKER POOPIE
This thick soft poopie leaves a trail of skid mark type evidence in the bowl, but it usually only happens around your mother-in-law's house.
THE MASTER�POOPIE
You poopie several small logs, then one large one. When you're done you look into the bowl and it seems the smaller ones are afraid of the larger one, since they seem to be clinging to the opposite wall of the bowl.
THE MEXICAN FOOD POOPIE
A class all its own.
THE MIGHTY MOUSE POOPIE
You feel like you have a ton of poopie to put into that toilet, you sit down, poopie one or two little poopies, and are done. You feel great, like you are 10 pounds lighter! Could that poopie have had a black hole particle in it? Makes you wonder.
THE MILLION DOLLAR POOPIE
There is a queue for the toilet, you are desperate, it's already half way out, and you have no garden. This is the poopie you would pay a million dollars to drop.
THE MOOD ENHANCER POOPIE
This poopie occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.
THE MOSAIC POOPIE
A dozen or so relatively small poopies that are recognized by their unique individual colorations and floating quality. Like clouds, you can often "see" figures or objects in them.
THE MUSCULAR POOPIE
This poopie looks deformed and takes a lot of pain and muscle work to get out. Even when it comes out it looks like it is made of muscle.
THE "MY INTESTINES ARE IN THE TOILET" POOPIE
This poopie hurts so bad coming out that it makes you feel like you have nothing inside you anymore. When you look in the toilet it looks like your intestines.
THE NAPALM POOPIE
It sticks and it burns. This merciless killer is fired from high above and destroys a wide area in one hit. In case of contact with skin, rinse immediately with plenty of water and seek medical attention.
THE NEVER ENDING POOPIE
The poopie that keeps coming out with no end and even when you think you are finished, it is still there, hanging out of your butt.
THE NOTORIOUS DRINKER POOPIE
The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. �It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.
THE OLYMPIC POOPIE
This poopie occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the "Drinker's poopie."
THE ORGASMIC POOPIE
It feels like all your troubles are over once you've finished this poopie. Its orgasmic, once you have finished it you jump up and down for joy.
THE "PAINFUL"�POOPIE
When you have to push so hard, because the turd is so thick, that once you get it out you feel like your asshole was stretched 2 times its normal size. It hurts.
THE "PARALYZING"�POOPIE
Makes you push so hard that it comes out with such incredible force, your ass recoils and crushes the bones in your back.
THE PARANOIA POOPIE
When you think you are going to poopie, you don't want to but then... poop there it is!
THE PEANUT POOPIE
You've been eating lots of peanuts, and you can feel them when you wipe-up.
THE PEBBLE POOPIE
You strain for hours, but all you can get out is one tiny little pebble sized plop.
THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN POOPIE
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually CAN'T poopie.
THE PEEK-A-BOO POOPIE
Now you see it, now you don't. This poopie is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.
THE PENCIL POOPIE
This is a long skinny poopie (like the snake charmer) but it is straight and often yellowish in color.
THE PERFECT�POOPIE
When you sit down on the poopieter, let her loose and it comes out so damn perfect that there is no need to wipe your ass. very rare and can brighten your day.
THE PHANTOM POOPIE
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
THE "PISSING OUT OF YOUR BUTT" POOPIE
Feels like your pissing out of your butt. Shit that isn't too long, isn't too short, floats and sinks, and doesn't smell.
THE PLEASURE POOPIE
Sometimes you have a poopie that is so good it feels better than sex. Beware, if this happens more then once a week, you may have had improper toilet training as a child.
THE POLLITIONS POOPIE
They know its there but they still deny it.
THE POOPIEZOPHERENIA
Fear of poopieting - can be fatal!
THE PORRIDGE POOPIE
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
THE POWER DUMP POOPIE
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
THE PREMEDITATED POOPIE
Laxative induced doesn't count.
THE PRESIDENTIAL POOPIE
The poopie that resembles the face of a former president or famous person.
THE PROCRASTINATOR'S POOPIE
You put it off so long that when sit down, you blow a hole through your pants.
THE PRESSURIZED POOPIE
The poopie that comes out so fast that you wonder what is going on. Then after it is finished coming out you let out a big fart that was behind it pushing it out.
THE PUBLIC POOPIE
The only time you make a lot of foul noises is when there are lots of people around to hear it.
THE QUAKER OATS POOPIE
If your poopie looks like Quaker Oats, get you personal life in order, you probably have only a few days left to live.
THE "RATCHET"�POOPIE
Painless, but takes several tries.
THE RAINBOW POOPIE
Multicolored and usually very long with various shades of brown.
THE RANGER POOPIE
A poopie which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.
THE RAWHIDE POOPIE
Shit you hold in so long that when you finally let it go, it comes out with very leathery texture.
THE RED-EYE POOPIE
Man - this poopie is at least twice the size of your areshole. It's so big you have to call a midwife to help with the delivery. Your eyes turn red, you scream in terror as you feel sure this one will rip you in half before it hits the water. When you wipe your arse, along with the poo, there is a whole heap of blood as well.
THE RIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE POOPIE
You know, the kind that comes out looking like the elephant man...And makes you feel like you passed one (an elephant that is).
THE RICHARD SIMMONS POOPIE
This is when you strain so hard you lose thirty pounds in the process.
THE RIM�POOPIE
This poopie occurs when you have to go so bad and you accidently lift up both lids. By the time you realize that you have done this it is already too late and you sit and sink down deep into the bowl.
THE RITUAL POOPIE
This poopie occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.
THE ROCKET�POOPIE
It is a large ass log that you can't easily get out of your ass, so you squeeze so hard the ass constricts and the log flies out almost at light speed.
THE RUDE POOPIE
This poopie makes a plea for help like it is drowning. It makes a loud noise that will be heard two to three blocks down. Very embarassing.
THE SALSA POOPIE
Burns bad before, during, and after.
THE SCARED POOPIELESS POOPIE
Almost never happens on the toilet. Not just your underwear, but your pants should be destroyed as well!
THE "SCOUT"�POOPIE
The tiny balls that come right before a HUGE poopie.
THE SECOND WAVE POOPIE
This poopie happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poopie some more.
THE 7UP�POOPIE
This is the time when you're on the john and can't poopie and like a gift from god you let out a long turd and you look in the pot and there is the turd, but there are a bunch of little bubbles on the turd making it float.
THE "SHY"�POOPIE
The poopie seems to jump out of your ass and into the toilet bowl and when you turn around to see what kind of poopie it was, all you see is the end of the poopie quickly dissapear into the hole like it was scared of you.
THE SIDE TRACKED�POOPIE
When something big has just happened and you have to take a dump. But while taking the dump your mind is completely somewhere else. Then later you pull up your pants and right when you touch the doorknob you feel a gush between your cheeks and realize you forgot to whipe.
THE SHARKS FIN POOPIE
When a poopie has a sharks fin halfway along its back. Its agony, as the fin gets closer to your ring, the pain intensifies, you dont know whether to ease it out or go for it in one big push. Common when eating lots of crisps.
THE SHROUDED�POOPIE
Any kind of poopie that is accompanied by a very very dark fluid discharge. �This fluid will turn the turlet water brown, making it impossible to tell just what kind of poopie it was.
THE SILLY STRING POOPIE
A thin poopie that swirls around the bowl in one, continuous, unbroken link. Generally will leave it's mark after flushing. You have the urge to call someone to come and look.
THE SINKER POOPIE
Shit that sinks like lead to the bottom of the toilet, like rocks thrown in a pond.
THE SKYSCRAPER POOPIE
Basically like the amphibian poopie, however this is so large, it touches your arse. This occurs after a very long period of constipation.
THE "SLEEP"�POOPIE
Happens after you spent a while at a bar, you leave and goto sleep on a park bench. �Next morning you wake and find a poopie in your pants.
THE SNAKE CHARMER POOPIE
A long skinny poopie which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.
THE SNEAK ATTACK POOPIE
The type of poopie where your minding your own business when all of a sudden "Boom!" You find yourself with a load of Trouser Chili.
THE SNEAKY POOPIE
You have the biggest poopie but when you go to the restroom it doesn't come out. �And you think you are going to be there all day, so you pull up your tighty whitey's and go back outside. But a few minutes later you start poopieing in your pants like HELL!!!!!
THE�SNICKERS POOPIE
Packed with peanuts.
THE SOAKER POOPIE
A poopie so watery, when you try to wipe, the toilet paper is shredded to pieces.
THE SPINAL TAP POOPIE
The kind of poopie that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
THE SPORT HATING POOPIE
You have been waiting all day for an exciting footy game and just at the kick off, this bastard poopie knocks on your winking brown starfish and insists on coming out to play.
THE SPRAY PAINTER POOPIE
This one leaves every square inch of the bowl, under the seat, and your ass covered in poopie.
THE SPUD GUN POOPIE
When you poopie out a spud gun shaped log and it comes out so fast it makes a whoosh ker-plunk sound.
THE STAR WARS POOPIE
The one that looks like Yoda and gives you special powers.
THE STICKY POOPIE
This poopie is so sticky, you use up a whole roll of arse-wipe and then eventually have to use the shower hose to get it clean.
THE SUPERMAN POOPIE
Comes out of your ass faster than a speeding bullet.
THE SURFING POOPIE
You have a floating machine gun poopie, when you flush the chain the particles of poopie seem to surf on the waves. Also the pieces of poopie refuse to go away!
THE SURPRISE POOPIE
This poopie only occurs in places where there are no toilets, and no possible way of cleaning yourself. You think it's just a fart, but then that�s the surprise.
THE SWEETCORN POOPIE
You've been eating plenty of sweetcorn so your poopie looks like a brown version of a corn-on-the-cob.
THE "TADPOLE"�POOPIE
Big and dry at first, but tapers off. half hour long and very painful.
THE TAG POOPIE
Your it! This poopie has so much curve and tensile strength to it, that before it is totally released, it actually comes back around and touches your cheek.
THE TEFLON POOPIE
This non-stick poopie comes out so clean, you don't need any toilet paper.
THE TELEGRAPH�POOPIE
When you're sitting someplace, and you have to poopie, and it feels like the poopie is reaching out of your butt and tapping your underpants many times at regular intervals.
THE TIME TRAVEL�POOPIE
When your reading a magazine and you get so preoccupied with it that you forget that you already wiped and go to wipe and realize, just as your scraping your bare, tender, asshole with a ruff piece of paper, that you already wiped.
THE TITANIC POOPIE
A poopie thats so big when you flush the toilet it sticks out of the water and the end breaks off.
THE 360 POOPIE
When you stand to take a piss, and abruptly have to spin around and sit in a hurry to poopie.
THE TRICK POOPIE
You rush to the toilet for a crap, but it was just a big fart!
THE TURD-PASTE POOPIE
A poopie that is loose yet congealed to a semi-solid form. Diarrhea like but it has a uniform consistency.
THE TURBO-CHARGER POOPIE
You're sitting there, minding your business, so to speak, thinking everything is normal, and suddenly there is a totally unexpected, yet full and robust passing of wind, followed by more, perfectly normal poopie. This typically results in a completely soaked behind.
THE "TURTLE TAIL"�POOPIE
The poopie were you can fill the poopie hanging off the side of your buttcheek and it won't come off.
THE TWO-PART POOPIE
You poopie so much that you have to flush and then carry on poopieting.
THE UNCONSCIOUS POOPIE
After a night down the pub, you fall drunkenly asleep on a park bench. You wake up in the morning to find a poopie in your pants.
THE UPPER CLASS POOPIE
It doesn't matter what this guy's eaten, his poopie don't stink.
THE "WARY"�POOPIE
You're out in the woods taking a dump, you hear someone or something coming, and you swear the poopie sucks back up into your asshole. �Not pleasant.
THE WATER POOPIE
Did you ever wonder if your intestines and colon shut down sometime before you drank that last glass of water? Now you know what a woman feels likeevery time she pisses.
THE WET POOPIE
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
THE WET CHEEKS POOPIE
Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
THE WHAMMO POOPIE
The poopie that went through your system like a slip-n'-slide.
THE "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?" POOPIE
When you look forward to going to the bathroom and having a poopie more than anything else during the day.
THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" POOPIE
Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gaggin� and gasping for air.
THE WINDEX BOTTLE POOPIE
When you have the runs and while squirting the poopie you fart and spray it all over the insidde of the toilet.
THE YAWN POOPIE
This is a chain reaction type poopie; once on person goes poopie, several other people must go immediately after the first. Scientists believe this contagious phenomena is olfactory induced.