The Vapors
Why is fart a word we can't say?
Despite the fact we fart countless times each day.
"Expel gas"; "have flatus"
The terms O.K. to use
But to avoid the word fart doesn't serve to diffuse
The smell and the noise when one slips out
Whether silent but deadly or odorless and loud.
Is it all in the word or is it always pestiferous?
Is flatus benign while a fart is odoriferous?
A fart is indeed gas better out than in
Noxious and noisy but certainly no sin.
It's socially frowned upon to rectally groan
So it's best to enjoy farting while sitting alone.
But if one sneaks out during a meeting or parting
Simply play dumb and say, "Who the heck's farting?"
If there are two so it's obviously you
Say, "Don't be embarrassed, I do that too."
To talk about farting or flatus or gas
The words are synonymous as long as not passed.
If you fart quite a lot you need not despair
It means you're quite wealthy: a self-made million-air!