25 Ways To Spoil Your Roommate's Holiday
- Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If
s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody
murder and trash on the floor.
- Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap.
Refuse to get off.
- Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.
- Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and
forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town,
Santa Claus is coming to town..."
- Hang mistle-toe in the doorway. When your roommate enters
or leaves the room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.
- Hang a stocking with your roommate's name on it. Collect
coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say
"you've been very naughty this year."
- Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain
about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.
- Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (I.E.
";You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus
underneath the mistle-toe last night.")
- Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the
snow.
- Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two
front teeth..."
- Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of
Christmas song.
- Build a snowperson with your roommate and place a hat on
its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically
"it didn't work!"
- Whip your roommate screaming "now Dasher, now
Dancer, now Donner, and Blitzen, etc."
- Tear down all your roommate's Christmas decorations
yelling "Bah Humbug!"
- Wake up every morning screaming "Ghost of Christmas
Future, please have mercy on my soul!"
- Tell your roommate you're moving out. Santa's buying you
a house on 34th Street.
- Pin a poinsettia to your lapel.
- Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the
best parts first.
- Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your
roommate's friends "give it a yank."
- Ring jingle bells maniacally saying "every time a
bell rings an angel gets his wings."
- Stand in front of the mirror reciting "How the
Grinch Stole Christmas" over and over in your
underwear.
- Smoke mistle-toe. Do what comes naturally.
- Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he
wakes up sing, "he sees you when you're
sleeping..."
- Steal a life size nativity scene and display it in your
room. When your roommate asks, tell him/her "I had
to let them stay here, there's no room at the inn."
- When your roommate goes to the bathroom, rearrange
his/her possessions. Tell him/her that Santa's elves must
have done it.