How Things Would Be Different If Microsoft Headquarters Were in Texas...
  1. Their #1 product would be "Microsoft Winders"
  2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
  3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape
  4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right", "Naw", or "Git" instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel"
  5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Cotton Eyed Joe
  6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders 95 would be an outhouse
  7. Whenver you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"
  8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders 95 theme song would be "Achy-Breaky Heart"
  9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
  10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++"
  11. Winders 95 Logo would incorporate the Texas Flag
  12. Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
  13. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
  14. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
  15. "Well, the first thing you know ole Bill's a billionaire..."
  16. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator
  17. Microsoft CEO: Billy-Bob (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates