A Possible Future History of Intel(TM) Pentium(TM) Microprocessors
10/92
Intel unveils i486 follow-on; announces name will be "Pentium" because
"586" is not copywritable.
04/93
Pentium begins sampling. The usual obscure bugs appear. This time
persistent ones are associated with opcode X666.
09/93
Intel announces low-power, reduced performance version of Pentium for
use in portables. Ad campaign features engineers backpacking with
portable computers, forming token ring around campfire. Naturally, the
chip is named "Tentium."
11/93
Marketeers around the world are stunned by Intel's bold new marketing
strategy: leasing of microprocessors. Customers will be able to lease
chips with option to buy or to upgrade to the next generation which is
guaranteed to be pin compatible (The chips have a special pinout with
dozens of pins reserved for future use.) The chip is dubbed "Rentium."
03/94
An uneasy alliance of the Vatican and fundamentalist Christians demands
a CPU with no opcodes numbered 666 in octal, decimal or hexidecimal.
Intel listens to its customers and responds with a special compiler with
work-arounds, and a chip that gives up about 10% in performance but
eschews "devil" opcodes. The part is called "Lentium".
05/94
AMD announces a super-low-cost Pentium compatible. It costs "Just
pennies per MIP" and is dubbed "Centium."
06/94
Intel releases name of next generation chip. A small company in
Pocatello, Idaho has had the forsight to copyright and market chips
under the name "Hexium" and "Sexium." They try to sell the names to
Intel for millions. Intel doggedly resists the blackmail and markets the
new chip as "Sixium."
11/94
Sixium samples. Bugs show up again in opcode 666. The press derisively
refers to the buggy chips as "Nixium."
04/95
The bugs in opcode 666 are finally killed. Grateful OEM's sell the part
as "Fixium."
05/95
Texas Instruments announces it has obtained rights to second-source
Sixium. In an effort to differentiate its product and tap the wellsprings
of state pride, it names its new chip "Texium."
07/95
Cyrix announces a "supercompatability" chip which can emulate a
pentium, a superSPARC, an R3000, a PowerPC, an Alpha, and a 68060.
The part is named "Mixium."
09/95
A lively aftermarket develops in used Pentium chips; they are bought and
sold under the moniker "Spentium."