The Dictionary Of Dating
ATTRACTION
The act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT 1ST SIGHT
What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING
The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL
Avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men or spending time around children.
EASY
A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
PRIG
A term used to describe a woman who wants to stay virgin until married.
EYE CONTACT
A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND
A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE
A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."
INTERESTING
A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT
What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY
How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportional to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC
A man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
FRIGID
A man's term for a woman who wants to have sex less often than he does, or who requires more foreplay than lifting her nightgown.
SOBER
Condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
NAG
A man's term for a woman who wants more to her life with him than just intercourse.