The Lies Men Tell
A guy is sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" he says.
"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it," she replies.
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explains. She looks satisfied and apologizes.
Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold.
When he comes to, he says, "What the hell was that for?"
"Your horse phoned."