PTSD -- Psychotherapist Trainee Stress Disorder

Symptoms include, but are not limited to...
  1. Overwhelming urge to strangle any person who glibly says, "You're having personal problems? YOU should know how to fix them, you're the psychologist, heh heh."
  2. When someone accuses you of being "antisocial" because you have to study instead of socialize, you scream, "No, I'm being obsessive-compulsive! If I we're antisocial, I'd beat the crap out of you right now..."
  3. Compulsion to diagnose and design treatment plans for TV characters
  4. Getting excited about relaxing adventures such as grocery shopping.
  5. Playing on the Internet all night to avoid any "productive" (as defined by your professors) activity.

This disorder is caused by...
  1. Having to try to reason with people who are totally out of contact with reality -- e.g., professors
  2. An average of 3 hours sleep per week
  3. Working 2 part time jobs, in addition to classes and training, to pay for your tuition
  4. A steady diet of bagels (munched while running from class to job to class) and chocolate covered espresso beans
  5. Stat-ware packages that mutilate your project beyond recognition
  6. Family, friends, and acquaintances who assume you'll always be their 24-hr free shrink, and never have any emotional needs of your own.