Official Rules for Calling Shotgun Version 1.1
The rules listed below apply to the
calling of Shotgun (the passenger seat) in an automobile. These
rules are definitive and binding.
Section I
The Basic Rules
1. In order to call Shotgun, the
caller must pronounce the word "Shotgun" in a clear
voice. This call must be heard and acknowledged by the driver.
The other occupants of the vehicle need not hear the call as long
as the driver verifies the call.
2. Shotgun may only be called if
all occupants of the vehicle are outside and on the way to said
vehicle.
3. Early calls are strictly
prohibited. Shotgun may only be called while walking toward the
vehicle and only applies to the drive immediately forthcoming.
Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle or still
technically on the way to the first location. For example, one
can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return
journey.
4. The driver has final say in all
ties and disputes. The driver has the right to suspend or remove
all shotgun privileges from one or more persons.
Section II
Special Cases
These special exceptions to the
rules above should be considered in the order presented; the case
listed first will take precedence over any of the cases beneath
it, when applicable.
1. In the instance that the normal
driver of a vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their
duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun.
2. If the instance that the person
who actually owns the vehicle is not driving, then he/she is
automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.
3. In the instance the the driver's
spouse, lover, partner, or hired prostitute for the evening is
going to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given
Shotgun, unless they decline.
4. In the instance that one of the
passengers may become so ill during the course of the journey
that the other occupants feel he/she will toss their cookies,
then the ill person should be given Shotgun to make appropriate
use of the window.
5. In the instance that only one
person knows how to get to a given location and this person is
not the driver, then as the designated navigator for the group
they automatically get Shotgun, unless they decline.
6. In the instance that one of the
occupants is too wide or tall to fit comfortably in the back
seat, then the driver may show mercy and award. Shotgun to the
genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver and other passengers
may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a three hour
trip with him crammed in the back.
Section III
The Survival of the Fittest Rule
1. If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival of
the Fittest Rule on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case
all rules, excepting I-4, are suspended and the passenger seat is
occupied by whoever can take it by force.
- The driver must announce the
institution of the Survival of the Fittest Rule with
reasonable warning to all passengers. This clause reduces
the amount of blood lost by passengers and the damage
done to the vehicle.
- Please follow the above rules
to the best of your ability. If there are any arguments
or exceptions not covered in these rules, please refer to
rule I-4.