I Stink, Therefore, I Am

Most people think, that my short life, is not a happy lot
But I am merely thankful, for the little things I've got
God could have made me anything, a flower, a fish, a bird
Instead he chose to make me .... a big fat healthy turd

I have no lovely petals, to be admired by everyone
And I don't smell like roses do, when basking in the sun
So no-one ever picks me up, and sticks me up their nose
Nor takes a knife, and offs my head, and pins me to their clothes

I swim around the bowl all day, just like the big-mouthed bass
But I am scorned by pike and trout, for I was born of ass
Yet when they're caught, the angler smiles, crying out with glee
But no-one tries to scoop me out, and fry me up for tea

I cannot chirp or sing a song, although some days I hum
I wasn't laid in a feathered nest, I came from someones bum
But no-one ever cages me, or treats me like a toy
And grannies never coo at me, "Who's a pretty boy"

So, all in all, my life ain't bad. I don't mind it a bit
You humans never bother me, 'cause I'm just a piece of shit
I'm a happy log, and I never yearn for things I may have missed
'Cause I know I'll never be on the endangered species list.