A Christmas Greeting
(After My Lawyer Was Done with It)
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,
low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the
winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to
practice religious or secular traditions at all . . .
. . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to
society have helped make Canada great, (not to imply that Canada
is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard
to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious
faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the
wishee.
(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms.
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is
freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of
the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where
prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the
wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the
usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or
until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish
or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)