New and Improved Bumper Stickers
  1. Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
  2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
  3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
  4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
  5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
  6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
  7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
  8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
  9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
  10. To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.
  11. If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
  12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
  13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
  14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
  15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
  16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
  17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
  18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
  19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
  20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
  21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
  22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
  23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
  24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
  25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
  26. Illiterate? Write For Help
  27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
  28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
  29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
  30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
  31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
  32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
  33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand basket?
  34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
  35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
  36. If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off. [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest]
  37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
  38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
  39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back over [Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]
  40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
  41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service
  42. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]
  43. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
  44. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
  45. Ax Me About Ebonics
  46. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
  47. Boldly Going Nowhere
  48. Cat: The Other White Meat
  49. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
  50. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
  51. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
  52. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car