What Mothers Said
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go,
young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"
MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER:
"I don't mind you having a garden,
Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"
MONA LISA'S MOTHER:
"After all that money your father and I spent on
braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER:
"Humpty, if I've told you once, I've told you a
hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me?
Noooo!"
COLUMBUS' MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher.
You still could have written!"
BABE RUTH'S MOTHER:
"Babe, how many times have I told you--quit playing
ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER:
"Mike, can't you paint on walls like other
children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the
ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER:
"All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your
report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and
prove it!"
CUSTER'S MOTHER:
"Now, George, remember what I told you--don't go
biting off more than you can chew!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
"Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you
just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
BARNEY'S MOTHER:
"I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney,
but you're starting to look a little purple."
MARY'S MOTHER:
"I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school,
Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."
BATMAN'S MOTHER:
"It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much
the insurance is going to be?"
GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER:
"I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the
Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"
LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER:
"Well, all I've got to say is if you don't
get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot
more spiders around here!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't
you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER:
"The next time I catch you throwing money
across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
JONAH'S MOTHER:
"That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've
really been for the last three days."
SUPERMAN'S MOTHER:
"Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and
we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit
spending so much time in all those phone booths?"
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the
electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"