PDB Obituary
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join me in
remembering a great icon.
The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was only 71. Dough boy
was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to
pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California
Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours, as long-time friend Aunt Jemima
delivered the eulogy, describing Dough boy as a man who never knew how much
he was kneaded. Dough boy rose quickly in show business but his later life
was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie,
wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little
flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll
model for millions. Toward the end it was thought that he would rise again,
but alas, he was no tart.
Dough boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and
Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his
elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty
minutes.