The General
The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a
minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself,
irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding attention and
expecting his every order to be followed immediately. He was in a
six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not
served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his
demands, the nighttime activities interfered with his rest and on, and
on.
One afternoon an orderly entered the room. "Time to take your
temperature, General." After growling at the orderly, the general
opened his mouth to accept the thermometer. "Sorry, General, but for
this test we need your temperature from the other end." A whole new
barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was insistent that a
rectal temperature was what the test called for. The general at last
rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the orderly to proceed. The
orderly then told the general, "Stay exactly like that and don`t move.
I'll be back in five minutes to check up on you," and withdrew.
An hour later, the head nurse entered the room, saw the general with
his bare rear in the air and gasped, "What's going on here?"
"Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" the
general barked.
"Yes I have, General, but with a daffodil?"