Customers Suck When...
  1. They buy a 27 inch TV then wonder why it won't fit in their 2-door Honda (I wish I was joking about this one but it has happened to me at least a dozen times).
  2. They come at closing time and don't have a thing ready.
  3. They come after you have closed, pull on the door twice, then check their watches, then see you in the store and proceed to knock on the door, like you really want to be bothered.
  4. They tell you how you won't have a job very long because you don't bow down and grant their every wish.
  5. They don't take their food trash out of the carriages after they're done with them.
  6. They have to see the numbers on the back of scratch tickets because they think that it actually makes a difference.
  7. They're shopping for say a shovel, or an ice pick and they have to slam the thing against the tile floor of the store.
  8. They find an opened bag of topsoil or grass seed instead of trying to get a employee to dispose of it they just put it back on the shelf. Making certain that the hole is hanging over the edge of the shelf so the stuff pours everywhere.
  9. They have to fiddle with the store's light switches, etc.
  10. They call for an overnight delivery on Christmas eve, and get pissed when no one will deliver it. Or worse yet because your company is in the same state as they are they want you to deliver it if no one else will (Yeah right like that's gonna happen.)
  11. They order a coffee and they watch you make it, they pay for it, then tell you that they wanted it in a glass mug.
  12. They come in to buy memory, not knowing what kind they need. Then we ask them what kind of CPU the have, and they say it's a Packard Bell, Compaq or AST, anything but the processor! Can we say Duh!
  13. Their credit card is declined, and somehow it's your fault.
  14. They park their car in front of the door and turn their super-sensitive car alarm on so that anyone who enters or leaves the store sets it off. Then they ignore it as it blares for twenty minutes straight.
  15. They buy a CD, take it home and record it, and try to return it for cash the next day with tape holding the plastic wrap together. Then they look amazed when you point that out, as if they thought the tape was undetectable.
  16. They try to return something with a competitors price tag still on it and insist it was bought at your store.
  17. They want to special order something from overseas and don't care about the price - until you ask them to pay a $10 deposit.
  18. They get angry at you for not having listened to and determined an informative opinion of the CD they are looking at, as if you had time to listen to 10,000 titles even without 50 new ones being released weekly. "Excuse me while I consult my notes."
  19. A customer brings a huge jumbo bag of Pampers, and you scan it at $1.96 then check the UPC and find it say Pink felt. Then the Customer acts shocked, "Oh how did that happen" then you ring it up and the customer say, "Well I don't have that much money."
  20. They try to sample drinks on the shelf and then try to put it back.
  21. They have a HUGE bear belly and have to stand like a inch from you when your near the ground. (NO please don't squish me.)
  22. They don't understand the word no.
  23. They carry come in complaining that none of the sale stuff is marked correctly and they're carrying like a ad that is 2 weeks old or something.
  24. They open a Kleenex box from the shelf because they need to blow their nose.
  25. They ask for certain products behind the counter then change their mind for something completely different after you've already bagged and rang up everything.
  26. They start a political debate or something at the register and everyone coming through for the next 15 minutes is talking about the same thing and wants to express their opinion to you!
  27. They have to ask if we carry Budweiser in a liquor store. (DUH)
  28. They ask if you carry milk in a liquor store.
  29. They ask if you're the manager when your at the register. (Since when does the manager actually ring in most stores?)
  30. They call on Sunday and ask what time you close, and when you tell them, they ask if you're sure, and then ask for a manager because they don't believe you.
  31. They hand you a $100 dollar bill, I check too see if it is counterfeit, and they get really offended.
  32. They read your name off a tag you're forced to wear and then constantly call you by your first name, telling you what to do. "______, get us some ketchup. ______, give us some more napkins."
  33. You turn your back around to get a bag for them ( to give them time to get there money out) and when you turn back around they put there money right on your keyboard.
  34. They come to the customer service counter with a cart full of expired food items that you personally threw out a few days ago and demand to get there money back even with out a receipt.
  35. They order an item and on their order slip are explicit instructions for you to call them as soon as it arrives and upon doing so you call and the have the nerve to interrupt there quiet evening at home.
  36. On a day when it is 100+ degrees outside, they pull up in their air-conditioned car and ask "HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?" (Works the same in severe thunderstorms too!)
  37. They are quoted a 45 minute delivery time, and call before the 45 minutes are up, saying they are hungry and wanting to know where their pizza is.
  38. They come in and want to buy the TV offered junk they've seen on cable.
  39. Instead of signing their credit card they write "see picture ID"-then they get mad at you when you ask to see their license.
  40. They don't know what CD they are looking for so they try and sing it as if you are an encyclopedia of music.
  41. When they send their kids in to buy 5 cent gum with food stamps until they have enough money in change to buy a pack of smokes.
  42. You drop something and injure yourself for a moment and then they still expect you to help them while your in pain.
  43. They come to you and say this toy does not have batteries so can have some store use ones (sure we hand them out what's the point for us to sell them eh!)
  44. They hand you a card that gives you rewards for shopping at another store and when you tell them where they are they almost get red. (I kind of like that one because that embarrasses them)
  45. They finish writing their check and hand it to you, but it's written to another store. And they curse you out because they have to write another check. (If you don't know where you are what are you doing out??)
  46. They want like 20 packs of matches to counter the rising price of cigarettes.
  47. A customer wants to stand over you while your trying to fix their machine. Then they constantly ask you questions which distracts me and has caused e to break their machine by accident. Then they blame me for being careless or even incompetent.
  48. They think that the counter top is a ashtray.
  49. You put something heavy to keep down a new floor tile and they all have to inform you of that item being on the floor, or worse yet removed it and then complain that there's a loose tile in that aisle.
  50. They decide to buy one thing then after it's rang up and cashed through decided to buy something else, then once again change their mind.
  51. They butt into the line like they have first priority.
  52. They all begin talking behind each other's back. Like "That guy is the biggest druggie." (Well your not much better)
  53. They leave their carriage in the line without taking it with them.
  54. It's day of the dumb asses.
  55. They're in a small store with only one register and they get pissed because there's two guys at the counter, but they feel we should be able to ring two people up at a time.
  56. They expect your store to have those fancy $3 paper bags so they can get one with the newspaper they just bought.
  57. They don't quite get that what you're doing is REALLY a job, and not just some sort of sick hobby.
  58. They return a movie and ask for their money back because "I didn't like it."
  59. They're shopping in a dollar store and they still have to ask how much things cost.
  60. They ask if today is senior day, then tell you that they are a senior, then ask you if you gave them their
    61. discount, then ask you to show them where the discount is on the receipt, then ask how much was the discount, then ask if YOUR SURE they got the 10% on their $.39 purchase!
  61. They get pissed because you don't have a senior discount for alcohol, tobacco, and scratch tickets.
  62. They call you on the phone and then ask you to hold! Every third word out of their mouth is "Ummm."
  63. They echo everything you tell them. "How much is this"? "$24.99". "$24.99?" (to yourself or under your breath) "That's what I said you moron"!
  64. They ask you when an item is going on sale. (Like I know, just buy it today or don't!)
  65. You tell them that the item they're looking for is on their RIGHT side in the aisle, so they immediately look to their LEFT. Duh.
  66. You go down an aisle to do something, and there's always some dumb, slow idiot just standing there, staring blankly at nothing in particular.
  67. Someone asks about a certain song on a certain CD, but they don't know who the artist is, or what the song is called, but tell you it says something about "Love you baby".
  68. They want 1lb uncooked shrimp, you weight, bag, wrap, label the shrimp while they are watching you. And they say, "Can you Steam it for me?"
  69. They order COD from you. You e-mail them the total cost of the COD. Then it gets returned, "Funds not Ready."
  70. They push all the "try me" buttons on all the toys in the aisle at the same time. Particularly the cars and trucks aisle, with those damn emergency vehicles.
  71. Then, when it's all over, they do again.
  72. They drop their bratty kids off at the toy store and then go shop elsewhere.
  73. They let their bratty kids play with every toy and ride every bike in the store. (many people actually BUY them and take them home and THEN play with them.)
  74. They buy a swing set, are driving a chevette (or similarly small car) and say "It looked a lot smaller in the store." IT'S A DAMN SWING SET! IT'S NOT SMALL!
  75. They call up for a delivery and then spend the next 5 minutes trying to decide what they want.
  76. They ask "Do you have my size?" without giving you any idea as to their size.
  77. They place a phone order and you give them the price and say plus $2 shipping and handling and they need you to figure the total is.
  78. They come into you store while on vacation from another part of the country and expect you to have the same stuff they got back home.
  79. They have their 10 year old kid call up the store instead of them doing it. Then finally when they figure out the kid just isn't going to cut it they get on the phone.
  80. They place a phone order and they forget where they live and you have to wait 5 minutes while they find some old mail.
  81. They ask for "that one video game where you're a guy, and you run around shooting things, and you get points, and you go through levels." (I mean that's like every video game!)
  82. They ask if you can call your competitor to see if they have something you don't.
  83. They throw a fit because you sold out of something that they never put a deposit on.
  84. They call your store. You tell them the name of your store. Then they ask you if your store is the one you told them it was. Like the name could change in 2 minutes.
  85. They think that you, nothing more than a grunt, knows exactly when every out-of-stock product in the store will be restocked.
  86. They believe that once they walk into the store, you become their personal slave for the next hour.
  87. While carrying a 50lb bag across the store for someone else, they stop you in your tracks and demand that you guide them around the store.
  88. They whine, bitch and moan when you don't know where a product is. (Yeah, like I'm a mobile store directory you twits...)
  89. They give you odd looks, rude comments, etc. just 'cause your hair isn't a natural hair color. (What's wrong with blue hair?)
  90. You clock out for your lunch break and sit down to eat, when you realize that an old person has followed you into the break room and begins asking you about the latest sale items.
  91. They ask you "Is this software Y2K compliant?", even though it says so 6 times on the box. Then they say,
  92. "Well, that doesn't necessarily mean that it IS!".
  93. Someone hurts themselves doing something hazardous (i.e. standing on a railing, climbing shelves, etc.), then blame the store for their injury! Worse yet, they let their children run loose and even stand there and watch them climb shelves and get mad at you when their child gets a boo-boo, claiming that the store is "unsafe".
  94. A regular customer expects you to order and price match an item found at another store that you have never carried in the 15 years that you've been open, especially since you sell computer products and the other store sells something completely different toys, drugs, clothing, and everything else under the sun.
  95. A customer comes in and asks you if you carry a product that hasn't been sold in decades.
  96. They wonder why you don't sell the morning paper anymore and the whole reason why you don't is because that person steals the damn thing from in front of your store before you get there every morning!
  97. They stand for ten minutes in front of a sign that says, "SORRY! We are temporarily out of Product X!", reading it over and over, then come up to you and ask, "Do you have Product X?"
  98. They ask "Can you tell me what your hours are?" or some other question of that nature. (NO! I CAN'T #@%ING TELL YOU! IT'S A SECRET!)
  99. They push a door clearly marked "PULL" in 6 inch letters, but can't figure out why the door won't open. (actually, that's Kinda fun to watch)
  100. They go digging through inventory marked "Customers, please DO NOT TOUCH!", then when you say, "Those are all duplicates of what's on the shelf, we really can't allow customers to go through them." They act like you're hiding all the "good stuff". (HELL-OOH! if it's there, WE WANT TO SELL IT! That's where the income is! SHEESH!)They come into your computer retail store, buy a $1500. computer system, pay with a check, and get pissed at you when you can't proceed with their transaction because when you ask to see their drivers license they produce a welfare medical card as ID. (I need to get out of retail and go on public assistance. )
  101. They come into your computer store with their tribe of kids, and while your waiting on their mother, who mind you usually know as much about computers as a pit bull knows about flying a jet plane, the tribe proceeds to bang on, stomp on, drool on, and throw every computer component in the store. And when mom is ready to go you tell her what the kids have destroyed, and she explains to you, "Kids will be Kids."
  102. A young couple brings up a few items to purchase, and while you are ringing it up, they start making out right there in front of you!
  103. It is 8:30 in the evening, and a mother buys a 20 ounce Mountain Dew for her 8 and 9 year old sons ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. (Brave or stupid? You be the judge.)
  104. They stand in line bitching to other customers that you need to open another register, then when its finally their turn, they wait for you to ring up their 15 purchases, bag it all, tell them the total, then open their purse dig for their checkbook, write out their check, and dig for their license.
  105. They weigh 220+ pounds and come into your store to buy clothes, inform you that they are a size eight. Since you cant suggest a larger size they try it on anyway. When it doesn't fit, they storm out yelling about clothes made in foreign countries, how your sizes are wrong, and proceed to warn every customer entering the store before leaving.
  106. They come into your store "Hello?" or "Is Anyone here?" at the top of their lungs like they're at home.
  107. They come into the store demanding to know why the watch they bought yesterday will not work. (I am so used to this by now, I patiently explain to the customer (and even show them how) to wind there newly purchased watch.)
  108. They're old, yet insist on feigning computer knowledge in the foolish hope they'll impress us young'uns. Pardon me, son, is that computer re-booting? (you can even hear the hyphen in there....) Sir, that's the PRINTER. Smack.
  109. They (usually younger children) refer to you, despite your name tag, as "Mr. Guy" and the like.
  110. They ask truly bizarre questions, such as "Is this the white thing?" (They may be stupid, but can they at least make an effort to be sensible?)
  111. A customer stands at another register which is closed, even though there are ten people on the register you are working. When you finally get around to serving them they give you crap because they had to wait so long.
  112. A customer gets annoyed at you when you are right and they come off looking like an idiot. (It's worth it though.)
  113. A customer bitches and moans about an item being made overseas, when you show them a similar item which is made locally, they bitch and moan about the price.
  114. A customer makes you try crap on for them because you look about the same size as the person they're buying the stuff for.
  115. They have to destroy all your Sunday papers to make sure a certain section is in theirs.
  116. They come to you and they can obviously see that you're helping another customer but proceed to interrupt you and ask you a thousand questions and then get pissed when you tell them that you're already busy with someone else and that you will be right with them. (I did have one time when the other customer snapped at an older lady doing this and she proceeded to yell at the top of her lungs to %@$k off and wait her turn. It was hilarious to watch).
  117. They purchase a big item that is usually stocked in the back of a store so you grunt and moan to get it up to the register and the customer tells you that you have the wrong one. (You grab the receipt and say to them, "Now, follow along closely, see what it says on your receipt, yes, also see here what it says across the box, yeah uh huh, that's a match!)
  118. They read the "It's Empty" sticker on a display box for a playstation, N64 game etc. box and think that you're sold out. ( like we are sold out of all 400 games we carry, but still have a display box for every single one)
  119. They come into the store and go to the shoe department first... try the shoes on.. walk all over store in them.. and then decide not to buy them... (and they have growths on their feet)
  120. They cram money into a vending machine that obviously is out of order and then wants you to refund them the money.
  121. Your store has a credit card minimum purchase requirement and people will try to constantly bypass it by returning something they just bought to get past the minimum.
  122. They buy a bottle of wine and then return it because they couldn't open it. Then when you inspect the bottle you see the reason. They stuck the corkscrew in about a quarter of and inch and tried to pop the cork. They get so pissed about something stupid that you swear they'd kill you if they could get away with it. (Get over it!)
  123. They need that beer at 8 o'clock in the morning.
  124. They have to try as many of the products on the shelf as possible before they buy one.
  125. They fake disabilities just to get more help from you. (Like they can't see very well, but they can spot those instant bazillion scratch tickets from halfway across the store)
  126. They have to park their car 2 inches from the front door and make it difficult for people to get out of the store.
  127. They park their car in front of the store's door so you can't get the carriages inside.
  128. A customer comes in and asks for an application for employment and when you can't find one right away they say "oh, never mind, I don't need one. Will you just sign my unemployment sheet?"
  129. They tell you to take your time getting to the register and then get pissed cause you didn't get there fast enough for them.
  130. They buy like $2 of stuff a day and think they're important.
  131. They get offended when you won't accept their dad's credit card without him being present. Then they say, "I used it at the other store." Well, this isn't the other store, and the other store should consider changing their policy.
  132. You have a line going all the way the other side of the store, and rather than waiting their turn in line, someone comes directly to the counter and starts asking you questions.
  133. They ask you, "is this all you have?" After you say yes, they ask, "is there any more in the back?" (Customers must think the back room is the lost city of Atlantis.)
  134. They bring you an item that costs $15.99 for you to ring up. When you tell them the total is $17.15, they say, "but the price tag says $15.99!" They never consider that you have to pay taxes on stuff.
  135. Black people assume that because I'm Black, and they're Black, that we're brothers and I'm going to "hook them up." (Last time I checked, I had one brother, and you aren't him.)
  136. They can't figure out that I work there despite the fact that my nametag bears the following: 1: a leash with the company name on it 2: a tag with my name and the company name 3: a Bug's Life Button 4: a Babe: Pig in the City Button 5: a Prince of Egypt soundtrack sign 6: a button with the name of the mall on it But when I come in on my day off, they all of a sudden know I work there. (I guess they traded in their common sense for sixth sense.)
  137. They say something really lame like "Oh this is not priced, I guess it must be free." (Boy wish that worked cause I'd be taking free stuff with me from work all the time)
  138. A product is out they insist you check the back (even if you don't have any merchandise in your backroom.) They call in to ask you if you can rent them a 10 by 10 storage unit. Then they ask you if all of their stuff will fit in it, without telling you what that might be.
  139. They want to rent a storage unit and ask you what is the smallest size you've got. You tell them "5ft by 5ft". Then they ask you "How big is that?"
  140. You work in a rental store which is always open on Sundays. The customer calls and when you answer they ask if your open! Duh...
  141. They try to return a CD that they've obviously owned for quite some time since it's all scratched up & the cover's broken & when we say no get all offended because our return policy says it can be exchanged WITHIN 30 DAYS. However, they don't have a receipt proving when they bought it.
  142. They shop at your store.
  143. They call you the day after Christmas because they can't figure out how to hook up their Playstation.
  144. They mess up all your CDs and then complain about not being able to find a certain one (That's because YOU put them out of order dumbass. What do you think WE do, get in a shipment of music and stick it in the wrong spot?)
  145. They try to come in the "in" door after the store is closed and when you tell them the store is closed they simply say "Oh I didn't know that."
  146. They act like you should be completely knowledgeable in everything that you sell, when you have to work 2-3 jobs, a total of 50-60 hrs per week, just to make a yearly wage above poverty level. Yeah--sorry I am not an expert....
  147. They complain about how bad customer service is in general---especially comedians. I challenge any them to wait on the irate, the irrational, and the idiotic day after day for minimum wage. If they still feel that we are wrong in not being bubbling over with happiness and thrilled to be waiting on you hand and foot, then you are a stronger man than I am...
  148. You are filling a customers order and they change their mind making you throw away good food. He or she (usually an old person) walks up behind you and grabs a handful of paper bags (to recycle their newspapers!).
  149. They try to buy alcohol on Sunday before noon (when there has ALWAYS been a state law against that).
  150. Their arms are full of products and they ask you, "Where are your carts?" It makes you want to say," You passed a million of them when you entered the store, what do you close your eyes for a big surprise?
  151. As they walk in the store, you ask, "Can I help you?" They say, "No I'm just looking". Then they get pissed off when you attend to someone who actually wants to buy something.
  152. They have you running around trying to find the sizes for the million of shoes they want to try on. Hours later they inform you that the pair they like is cheaper at another store...
  153. They come to your store to try on some shoes and they inform you "I am a size 9, could I get these in a 7 because they run big. (Who are you fooling!)
  154. They try to stick their big size 10 shoe into an 9, because they are the last pair. Of course when it doesn't fit they get mad at you like it's your fault they have feet the size of king kong.
  155. The customer comes up to the counter with his fingers pointed like a gun and says, 'Hey Put all the money in a bag. Hahaha Just Kidding."
  156. They rant and rave because you are busy serving one customer and you can hear them kissing their teeth because they are on their lunch break and they are in a rush BUT when it's their turn to be served, they take their sweet little time.
  157. They get pissed because you gave them dirty, ripped, or wet money.
  158. They come to the customer service desk and ask if they can return alcohol cigarettes because "It didn't taste good" or "It wasn't the right stuff."
  159. Cops come in arrogantly demanding discounts and such, especially when they come in with plain clothes and expect you to know that they are cops.
  160. They ask you the annoying old question "Working hard or hardly working?"
  161. They ask, "What is (competing company's) phone number?" and get pissed because you either a) don't know it or b) have been told by the boss that you can't tell the customer.
  162. They tell their kids, " The lady's gonna take it back if you don't behave!" Why am I suddenly the bad guy?
  163. You see customers pull up at the drive thru at the bank and they proceed to sign their checks, putting the signed ones and the deposit ticket in their mouth to hold it until they get their turn. (I've invested in some tweezers so I can touch their wet checks. YUCK!!)
  164. They want to cash a $800 check and then get pissed when I ask for ID. They yell that they've been banking here for 50 years. Well guess what....I'm not that old!!
  165. A bank customer cashes a large check and you count out different denominations of bills because that is the way most of them like it. You send the tube out in the drive thru and then they say, "Oh, I wanted large bills."
  166. What am I, a mind reader?
  167. The personal banking customers get pissed because the commercial customers get to have a separate line and it appears to be moving faster. (They just don't understand that waiting behind a weeks worth of deposits and a change order)
  168. A customer makes a deposit at the bank and puts five 20's ($100) and some checks in the deposit. Then they list on the bottom of the slip that they want $20 cash back from the deposit. HELLO???? Why not hang on to one of those $20's you were depositing genius!!!!
  169. They look through the wallets and ask if there is money in any of them. (If there was, would I be working here?)
  170. They say "Can I speak to the MAN?", like just because I have on a skirt I can't do the same thing.
  171. They come into your store everyday buy a $10 item and only come in with a $5 and have to run back out to their car. Every time!
  172. They break something say "Opps" and attempt to make it "look good" again even though your right there and saw the whole thing happen.
  173. They get pissed because you won't take their out of state check. They want a plastic bag for a 40lb item and then come back in and complain that the bag broke.
  174. They hit a employee's car in the parking lot and don't have the nerve to tell someone. They put chairs in your parking lot in the winter to reserve their parking spot. (usually happens to inner city stores)
  175. They get all pissed off when your out of something seasonal when it is most needed. ( E.I. Salt in a blizzard, ice in a heat wave. )
  176. They ask if they can buy a roll of quarters or something and then end up giving it all back to you the next day for a purchase.
  177. They don't understand the reasons behind us needing to scan products. Something they bought sets off the theft protection system and they decide to stand in it until someone comes to them, annoying everyone with the alarm.
  178. They have to come into a clothing store with "mechanic's hands"
  179. They don't understand why you need a deposit on their $4000 special order. They try to either rush the line or cut into it saying something like "I got my kids in the cars." (Nice parents in my book, NOT!)
  180. They have to take up four parking spaces in the parking lot because they don't want anyone parking near their brand new $50,000 car. They have to take all the stuff out of the bottom of a display thus causing the whole thing to topple over.
  181. They climb up the shelves instead of asking someone for help to get something high up. Then they end up knocking everything over on both sides of the aisle. Or worse yet they end up breaking the shelf.
  182. They see a bucket on the floor for a leak in the ceiling and they proceed to move it so the water spills onto the floor.
  183. They have to preach the bible to you because your wearing a slayer shirt at work. (What's wrong with a slayer shirt?)
  184. They resort to making excuses for you as to why your in a bad mood.
  185. They have to pay you in all quarters, but instead of just giving you the damn things they have to sort through them because they're collecting the new quarters.
  186. They say they weren't informed when there are return signs all OVER the store.
  187. They complain when the debit machines go down, even though it's world wide.
  188. They bring in computer parts in grocery bags (without receipt, packaging or manuals) and want $$$ refund.
  189. They interrupt you mid-sentence when answering the phone.
  190. They want their MAIL IN rebate right now. Hence the word MAIL!!!!
  191. They bring their returns in competitors bags.
  192. They give you their discount card at the END of the transaction when it's too late.
  193. You inform them to call the 1-800 # to do it manually and they ask "Why don't u do it for me? "They want written receipts instead of what comes out of the register or they want us to add words onto the receipt!
  194. They call your store and half way through the conversation they ask for your phone #! How they heck did you dial us in the beginning?
  195. You inspect their large bills for counterfeit and they say "just printed it this morning hahaha".
  196. They shop at your store all the time and know that food stamp items and non food stamp items must be rang up separately, yet they still continue to pile all the stuff into one order.
  197. They think every store takes food stamps and they get pissed when you don't.
  198. They place an order for delivery and as your pulling away from the store someone waves you down and it's the person that called in the order because he wanted a free ride to his house with the delivery.
  199. They try to pass out "Jesus Saves!" pamphlets in your store.
  200. They just have to make faces at the one way mirror of the store's office as they pass it.
  201. They spit their chewing tobacco in the doorway before entering or leaving the store.
  202. They leave their coffee cup filled with chewing tobacco at your register.
  203. They have to attempt to buy the display product because it's nicer than the stuff on the shelf. (usually happens at Christmas time with gift wrapped stuff)
  204. They just have to try to pass off photocopied coupons.
  205. They attempt to make their own coupons at home with their computer.
  206. They rip out all of the coupons out of the flyers up front, but yet they still leave all the scraps in the flyer bin.
  207. They take 15 minutes deciding which one of the 2 $1 scratch tickets they want.
  208. They wipe their hands covered in motor oil on the counter.
  209. They let their cigarette butts fall into and type of display of candy, etc.
  210. They get pissed that the plastic bag they wanted can't hold the 50 pound item they didn't want in a paper bag. (Usually happens with us and 30 pks of beer, like that plastic bag will hold it)
  211. They attempt to alter the wording on your store's policies to benefit them, in some weird and twisted way.
  212. They come up to your counter and try to buy an item with a store coupon from another store. The coupon says it cannot be used at any other store and they wonder why they cannot use it at your store.
  213. They ask you not to set their potato chips on top of the meat so the meat won't get crushed.
  214. They can't understand the tax laws in your respective state. 5% tax here in Wisconsin and we still have people come in here with something that's $1 and when it totals at $1.05 they throw a hissy fit. ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A DOLLAR!!!!!
  215. They ask for a bag for a single cassette tape, then proceed to wrap it up and stuff it in their pocket or purse etc...why bother asking for it?
  216. They come into rent a movie even though they don't know the title, who stars in it, or even what it is about and expect you to find it. Man, stupid people suck!
  217. They have to have everything bagged a certain way, and when you do it they still complain and re-bag everything.....why don't they just bag it themselves then?
  218. You are in pest control and the customer calls you up demanding to know what dead bugs are doing in his her house.
  219. They think $9.99 is only $9.00 and not $10.00.
  220. You're filling a vending machine with pop, candy, etc., and everyone passing by says, "Got any free samples?"
  221. They use the dressing room as a personal toilet, urinating or defecating all over the carpet, and then using some expensive article of clothing, such as a silk dress, to wipe their ass. These are people you want to house sit for you when you are out of town.. :)
  222. They come into your store wearing some skanky spandex hoochie mama outfit--with their all their business hanging out--and proceed to strut around the store, acting like people should be asking for autographs. Sorry girlfriend--they only difference between you and me is that mine is covered up....
  223. They have to resort to searching for dimes in the candy rack to pay the total.
  224. They feel the need to ride their bicycle in your store.
  225. A customer buys something that does not ring up on food stamps, such as dog food, then they complain that they have to pay for it themselves. But they are wearing expensive jackets or about 10 gold necklaces around their neck.
  226. They have to ask what time a Store 24 closes (or any well known 24 hour store)
  227. They rip the coupons out of the flyer on the corkboard up front even though all the coupons have in big letters on them VOID!
  228. Their credit card gets declines and they then expect you to just let them go home and get the money as well as take the product with them.
  229. They have to go through all the stuff in your cooler to attempt to find the coldest one of the product even though they all have been in the cooler for the same length of time.
  230. They always have to complain to you that they don't win the lottery. (Like that's our fault.)
  231. They see another customers in a wheelchair shopping and they just move them aside like they were one of the carriages or something to get them out of their way.
  232. They start giving each other the evil eye because customer B just bought the same type of scratch ticket as customer a and customer c just won money on the scratch ticket customer b was playing for the past half hour.
  233. They bring a CD back to the store and insist that the CD case was empty when they bought it, but refuse to exchange for the exact same thing....saying " I changed my mind, I don't want this CD, I want that one.
  234. They come through drive through, order a large shake.
  235. Pull up, pay for it, and when handed the shake says its not the large, you say it is the large. Then they demand to see the manager who just says the same thing you do.
  236. Then they demand their money back, then says you were rude to them and hope you get written up.
  237. People go to Disney and ask you "what time does the 3 o'clock parade start?"
  238. They ask me where my department is.
  239. They bring carts from other department stores into a store which doesn't have them and leave them behind.
  240. They treat you in a condescending manner, like you're a retard or an immigrant fresh off the boat, just because you SERVE PEOPLE for a living. I'd cite an example, but it would be like getting a drop of water from a vast ocean.
  241. They all decide they want to ask you questions at the same time.
  242. They trash the bathroom, then have the nerve to complain about it.
  243. They all come to see a sob movie and leave their snotty tissue everywhere but in the trash barrels.
  244. They try to cajole you into bending the rules/policies JUST for them over something trivial, then get all pissed when you shut 'em down.
  245. An act of God or who/whatever becomes your fault for some reason.
  246. A simple "I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience", an "I'm doing everything I can to fix the situation", or anything else where you're putting all your vulnerable cards up on the table for, basically, a total stranger to see, (or, even tastier, a whole damn GROUP of people!) just somehow ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH for them. Homicide is justifiable at this point. Check out the judge at your trial, and see if he/she ever, even for a few days or something in college, ever worked in the service industry.
  247. They come in drunk, ten minutes before "Last Call", and ask you if you can sell them beer anyway, then beg, bribe, or threaten when you tell 'em No.
  248. Three words: paper-in-plastic.
  249. They insist that there's no way they could have ever turned the movie in late, and imply that the employees stay at the store late at night, ringing up late fees on random accounts just for fun.
  250. They get offended when you work at a music store (music/book/video) yet don't listen to the same radio station they do, so you don't recognize the annoying song they're trying to find. (Bonus points if they can't name the song or artist)
  251. They don't know whether their computer uses 3.5" or CD-ROM. I actually had a customer like this once, and I finally had to ask him, "Do you put something square or something round in the computer?" He brightened, and said, "Oh! Round!"
  252. They "lose" a gift certificate, have no proof it ever existed, try to get it replaced, and then try to point to you (the innocent bystanding employee) and claim that you sold it to them on Monday. This happened to me once. The manager asked me if this was true, while the customer was emphatically saying oh yes, it was her, and I said I was off on Monday. D'oh!
  253. They deface books--tear pictures out, write on the pages, spill coffee on them. (Curse whatever book chain started that coffee in the bookstores nonsense!)
  254. They are older people who drive up in a new Cadillac and tip you 50 cents because 50 years ago, that was a good tip.
  255. They open the adult magazines in the store and blissfully paw through them, and when you ask them not to read the adult mags in the store, they claim "It was already opened". Be that as it may, moron, the sign says, "Do Not Read In Store."
  256. They try to get you in trouble via the suggestion sheets or comment cards.
  257. They do mysterious/disgusting/smelly things in the public restroom.
  258. They ask for direction to your store from their house which is in the middle of nowhere! Like you know.
  259. They say something like nobody likes you because they can't get their way. (like I care if anyone likes me.)
  260. They walk into a discount hair cutting salon (where we cut about 100-150 customers a day) and look you right in the face and sincerely ask if anyone knows how to cut children's hair. (One time I look them right in face and sincerely said, "no.")
  261. They get mad when you're in a nice mood and are willing to walk a customer to the product they are looking for and say no just tell me the aisle. But then come back and say they can't find it.
  262. They are so set on saying that the product their returning is from your store. Even though it doesn't scan, isn't on the shelf, came in another stores bag with a receipt inside it for that product at another store.
  263. Old Customers try to ask out teenage clerks.
  264. They hold up the line by reading the receipt and then ask what was $10.99
  265. They get irritated because you uncrumple their money before ringing through the sale.
  266. They have an accent and get pissed because you can't understand them clearly. (e.i. customer asking for opple jew when they mean apple juice.)
  267. They wonder why we don't let them use the bathroom after we let them b4 and they pissed on the floor and clogged the toilets. (hey we have to use the same one!)
  268. They buy a pregnancy test then ask to use the bathroom.
  269. They ask for a purple lipstick.. saying ohh I forgot the brand and name. So they make you go through a million purple lipsticks for them.
  270. They complain about there are no lipsticks on display, when there's a million bright yellow signs saying lipsticks are behind the counter.
  271. They bitch that they can't try lipstick on now because they are behind the register. Even though that's the whole point of them being there.
  272. A customer lets their child run around the store and then they run around in a panic thinking that somebody kidnaped them. They then expect you to stop what you're doing to help them look for the kid.
  273. A customers asks you if you carry every single internal part for anything that is made. Them knowing it has to be sent off for repairs. Then they get pissed off at you for telling them what they already know.
  274. They ask to be taken to your restroom, then dump their Colostomy bag (or they just defecate the old fashioned way) all over the toilet. And the floor. And the wall. And the store of toilet paper. And the sink... I am talking Major contortionists here!
  275. They ask if they need to have the coupon with them to get the discount. (NO, we put it in the paper because we are bored!!!)
  276. They consider it "fraudulent advertising" when a sale price only applies to a limited quantity, despite the "Limit 4" notice everywhere the price is advertised.
  277. They accuse the store of "false advertising" when an on-sale item that they want is out of stock.
  278. They get pissed when I explain that county law prohibits me from selling alcoholic beverages after 2:00 am, as though it is my fault that they ran out of beer that late at night.
  279. They claim that the text under the scratch-off portion of the lottery ticket is illegible (or "defective" as she put it), and as such they deserve a refund. Never mind that I didn't have any trouble reading the text and the lottery register goes by the barcode on the back of the ticket to determine winning status (the ticket was a loser -- big surprise).
  280. They don't think that the sales tax (actually Pharmacy prescription tax) of the state in which they are making their purchase should apply to them because they are from a different state.
  281. They pay for $3000 computers with $20 bills and then become annoyed when you have to take the time to count them all. As if you should just trust them when they tell you all the money's there.
  282. They return a sim game because the specs don't seem to match exactly to the real craft.
  283. The total of their purchase comes up to $3.03 , they have to run to their car to get the 3 cents because they don't want to break a nickel.
  284. They want a lottery ticket for 25 cents punched in 20 times a piece to escape the state and they got like 40 of them.
  285. They talk to you for 15mins about all these products they want, that's fine, you get it all together, ring it up, get the money off them, and then suddenly decide they have a discount card (5%), so you have to return the lot, give them a refund, then process it all again!
  286. You spend 10mins talking about mobile phones, then another 10mins filling out the paperwork, you ring up the mobile phone group to get them connected, and then after they talk to the customer, the customer remembers that they have huge overdue accounts.
  287. They come up and say "I'm going to ring these up separately just to make it interesting."
  288. They sit their child on the counter of a fast food restaurant, or, worse, they stand the child on the counter so they can "see", like their child walks on air, not the dirty ground we do.
  289. They complain about your math skills or say you need to "go back to school" when the register adds up items "incorrectly".
  290. They hit the "Ring Bell For Assistance" an infinite amount of times, and then find out the customer's "problem" that needs "assistance" is a simple little thing that a 3 year old kid could figure out.
  291. They complain your music store sucks because they don't like what song you are playing in the store.
  292. They ask you if you recommend it, and tell them, "I haven't seen it yet," and look at you like you are a weirdo. (Hey, I don't have time to listen to every tape, CD, DVD, video, etc. in the store!)
  293. They don't know the difference between store price and unit price. They come up to the register and then ask, "That price was lower in the ORANGE box, [excessive annoyance here]." Maybe if you checked out other items, you may tell that some of the UNIT PRICES seem a little expensive then the store price.
  294. Everything in your store is the same price and it is posted everywhere but they still ask, "How can I tell how much this item is?" or "How much is this?" (e.i. dollar store)
  295. They pound on the counter like there's a service bell there or something.
  296. They stand there for like 5 minutes trying to figure out if your open or not instead of trying the door, or better yet looking for a opened or closed sign.
  297. They see a common bug on the sales floor or something and then suddenly their screaming your place is infested with bugs. (I've never seen a store without at least a few bugs crawling around at one time or another)
  298. They try to return stuff at the register instead of the customer service desk even after you tell them the register can't do returns.
  299. They trip over the rug at the front of your store more than once in their visit.
  300. They smoke in your store and their excuse for it is well you have a ashtray at the front of your store. (That's to put them out you idiot!)
  301. They're looking to buy rolls of new quarters in your store. (Like we should stock them on the shelf or something)
  302. They expect you to accept their EBT (food stamp card) because they were supposed to have more money in their account when they only have about $0.16.
  303. They come into the store 15 minutes before they have to go to work, during the busiest period of the work day, and get mad when they have to stand in line.
  304. Someone will always walk into the theater you're cleaning, and when you tell them to wait outside at the end of the line they get mad at you and leave. Then when you're finished cleaning, you find that person waiting in front of the barrier, ahead of everyone else, and they refuse to move.
  305. They buy a ticket for a 7:30 show at 5 o'clock, and want the twilight rate because it's not 6 o'clock yet. (it's when the movie starts, Nimrod!)
  306. It's the busiest night of the week, the lines are twenty minutes long regardless of the talent behind the counter, one guy will always make it to the register and say, "I've missed twenty minutes of my movie!" and you'll say, "Well, I'm sorry about that sir, what can I get for you?" They will then spend approximately five minutes deciding what to order. As if people don't realize that no one is holding a gun to their head.
  307. They attempt to return cigarettes at your store because there the wrong brand and when you flip the pack over low and behold they're from another state. Then they get pissed because you won't take back their pack of smokes and start saying lame stuff like I bought these here yesterday. (Yeah right buddy that's why they another states stamp on the cigs)
  308. At a bank they ask to cash a check, and after the transaction goes through they say "oh, I need to deposit some of that too."
  309. They put their two year old on your register, let her crawl around, and get pissed when you try to prevent the snotfaced little tot from spitting up all over your scanner.
  310. Your name is "Kitty" and all the old men call you "Pussy."
  311. They can't understand why they can't use a $0.55 cent coupon for canned soup on a purchase of only a soda and a bag of M&Ms.
  312. They have a $500, three grocery cart order, let you ring it all up, pay for it, and then want to give you 400 coupons.
  313. They buy a weird fruit with no PLU on it. You ask them how much it is. They don't know. You ask them what it is.
  314. They don't know. You ask them if they got it by mistake.
  315. They don't know. You ask them if they want it. They still don't know...
  316. They somehow manage to find a way to accidentally hit you with the order dividers. It's your fault their milk is leaking.
  317. Something scans twice, and they wait until it is not only bagged, but placed in the cart, under everything else, and then tell you, "You scanned that twice refund my money don't I get a free one I wanna see your manager what kind of service is this..."
  318. They want to know if you have any "extra triple coupons" for them to use.
  319. They have you bag "EVERYTHING in paper" and get pissed when the bag with the ice cream gets soggy.
  320. They hand you a bunch of meat coupons that clearly say "valid only if detached by cashier."
  321. They call for an airline reservation and have absolutely no idea where it is that they want to go. Or have such a broad range of options to chose from. I am sorry but when I ask you which airport you want to fly out of then that is a direct question. I don't want to hear, "well, either LAX, Orange County, Palm Springs, or Ontario."
  322. You ask if they want paper or plastic bags. For some reason a straight answer isn't good enough....especially for old ladies...they have to give you REASONS why they've made their choice!! I have to walk up stairs, recycling, among other reasons I COULDN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT!!! Paper or plastic??? And PLEASE, GOD! don't say paper IN plastic.....
  323. They call to make a change to their ticket but they don't have the damn thing in front of them to refer to. Like we are psychic and know exactly where they are going.
  324. They don't buy anything--they just ask for a bag to carry the loot they shoplifted from another store.
  325. Another employee hides something for them in the stockroom, and they get mad at you when you can't find it for them.
  326. They ask the price of *everything* even though all merchandise is clearly marked with neon orange price tags.
  327. You see them put their hands down the back of their pants and pick their butts, and then they touch everything.
  328. They get snotty when informed that roller blades can't be worn into the store.
  329. They insist they should get something free because it's their birthday.
  330. They get upset when the bottle of Punky Colour or Manic Panic hair dye they bought turns their hair an unnatural color (that's the whole point!).
  331. They get something delivered to their house, but don't want you to get their white rug dirty the whole time.
  332. You stand there for over half an hour explaining how a phone works. (Sight & Sound is so much fun)
  333. They stand and watch you bag the 8 boxes of shoes they purchased. As soon as your finished they say, 'oh, I don't want the boxes'. Then they stand and watch you unbag, take them out of the boxes, then rebag -- and they don't even help you!
  334. They ask you if you would happen to know if your competitor has a product in stock...or which other stores sell the product......"um, let me tap into my psychic powers.....I'm getting nothing."
  335. They watch you wrap up all of their breakable items in tissue paper and put the items in the bag; and then they ask, "Did you take the price tags off? It's a gift."
  336. They then expect you to take everything out of the bag, unwrap the items, take the tags off, and repackage them.
  337. You're standing outside, with your coat on, with a lit cigarette, and still, just because they see your uniform, they insist on asking you where something is. (ASK SOMEONE INSIDE ! I'M OFF THE CLOCK GENIUS!)
  338. They tell you that you look like your on drugs when they know the place does random drug testing, like it's their payback to get you drug tested or something.
  339. You ask them how they're doing today and they reply, "Just looking!" (That must be a new emotion.)
  340. They ask stupid questions like: "Which is more: 33% or 50% off?"
  341. They break an item and then put it back on the shelf like nothing happened.
  342. That when someone pulls up to the drive through and orders a forty cent cup of coffee with 10 CREAMS and 10 SUGARS (I am seriously not kidding) they expect me not to laugh my ass off!
  343. They allow you to spend three hours helping them pick out a complete top of the line computer system with everything you can think of and showing them how to hook it up and work it, say they do want the extended service, and then allow you to put it all in the computer and then they say they are just looking and wanted a price quote!
  344. They hand you an unsigned credit card and tell you that they don't want someone to be able to copy their signature.
  345. They come to your register-KNOWING there is no tag on an item-hold up the line and stand there looking at you like you should know every price of every item in the store.
  346. They get annoyed when you have to get a price check, not to mention the moaning & groaning of the people behind the stupid idiots.
  347. Leave baby diapers in bathroom or dressing room. See our phone on counter and ask if they can make a call.
  348. Put the child up on counter were you are trying to work and the child is touching everything.
  349. Standing in line and you see them picking there nose and you just know you are going to get some part of, what they just picked.
  350. A customer is caught staling, and you caught them out of the store, they pull the product from within their underwear and say...Oh, did I forget to pay for this?
  351. They use the employee washrooms, and don't flush.
  352. They exit their car to enter the store, only to find that the store isn't open for another 15 minutes. they then proceed to ask every associate who enters the store to let them in because it's cold outside.
  353. They snap in the air for your attention.
  354. They whistle for your attention.
  355. They ask you questions while your standing at the urinal.
  356. Instead of asking for the book they want, they walk up and scream a title at you, and then get pissed if you do not know how large the book is, its price, how many you have in stock, and all the places it is located. And if you do happen to know, and put it in their hand, they say, "Oh, I don't want this book. I want something else by this author but could only remember that one title."
  357. Two words (honest), "Gimmeya Mar'bro!" You do.
  358. "Ah wanted th' lights!" You give them the lights. "Inna box!" You once again make the exchange. "100s, dammit!" Two words, "Die, Bubba!"
  359. You ask them if they want something to drink and they say no but I'll have a glass of water??
  360. They still have to ask you if you work there even though your behind the counter or register.
  361. Asked to move they get more in your way instead of getting out of your way..
  362. They ask you "do you know what I'm looking for?"
  363. Without finishing the sentence or say something like. It's blue, round, it's got a flowery pattern, etc, etc... without naming any type of product.
  364. They come up to the register with a zip-lock bag full of pennies to pay for their purchase.
  365. They say they have the change, search for 10 minutes and then pull out the change along with everything else in their pocket, which consists of lint, matches, dirt, etc.
  366. They belch or fart at the counter before they leave (like it attracts the opposite sex or something).
  367. They smell really bad and hang around the counter for as long as they can so you can absorb their fragrance.
  368. They wipe their nose on the side of their hand before giving you the money.
  369. They give you money from the bottom of their sneaker, bra, underwear.
  370. They buy a candy bar and then want a trash bag size bag for it.
  371. They want things triple bagged separately for small and light items.
  372. They spend all their money on booze and scratch tickets, but don't have enough money to buy something for their kid.
  373. They try to charge a snickers bar. What's worse has that card decline.
  374. They give you an attitude and then complain gave them one no matter how nice you were to them.
  375. They don't try to stop their kids from running something over a scanner over and over again.
  376. Two words "Hey you!"
  377. They decide to go to the bathroom in a corner of the store instead of asking where the bathroom is.
  378. They try to say it wasn't them even if there is video tape of them doing it.
  379. They hang around bumming money from everyone in the store and then cash in the change so they can get a twenty for it.
  380. They argue that you charged them too much for something, when they buy the same thing everyday and it is the same price everyday.
  381. They try to bum money to buy beer and dope. (Get a JOB and know what it's like to be us)
  382. They try to drive off without paying for their gas, and then when caught scream they did pay you, even though you have video showing otherwise.
  383. They come in like 4 times an hour asking you if you got drugs.
  384. They make sure to come to the counter with the ash on their cigarette more than an inch long and then dump it on the counter without trying to brush it away.
  385. They take money out of the plainly labeled "tip" cup to pay for their order..
  386. They sit at the counter (especially for lottery tickets) and say "I want.........." wait like 15 minutes and then say what they want, wait another 15 minutes say another thing they want.
  387. They ask if you carry a certain item and when you tell them you don't they go up and ask another employee the same question. As if you wouldn't tell them if you did carry it.
  388. They bring the wrong product up to the counter thinking it's on sale, and when you show them it's not they act like it's your fault that the thing they grabbed isn't the right one. "Do you want us to baby sit you through the store, huh?"
  389. They're the first customer of the entire day and they get pissed cause they hand you a $100 bill and you can't change it for anything bigger than fives and ones.
  390. They come up to the counter in a liquor store and ask for a 30 pk but, don't stay of what type and you ask them what type of beer and they just sit there until 15 min later they finally realize you don't know what type of beer they want.
  391. They return a 2000 flushes and want their money back cause it didn't last the 2000 flushes. (This has happened at the store I have worked in.)
  392. They come in with like 20 coupons for the same product and wonder why they can't use them all at once on the same 1 product.
  393. They knock over a couple of products on a shelf and then end up knocking over the rest of the shelf trying to straighten out the one or two products that they knocked over.
  394. They pick up a product worth $8.00 but thinks it's a bright idea to take the $1.50 sticker off of something else like we won't be able to tell that the price is wrong.
  395. They have to asked how much 50% off is. (obviously they didn't pay attention in school)
  396. After wearing the clothes and getting them all smelly they bring it back without a receipt and want to return it. Then get huffy when you say no.
  397. They ask if they can try on panties...when to the lengths of explanation that they can't they say "I'll try it on over my own panties." and still looked mad when you say no.
  398. They argue about the wording on a sign that had just been put in the window...Ex: Sale Everything Up To 50% Off".
  399. Customer asks, "So everything is 50% off"
  400. They ask "What size do you think I am/take?" (What do we look like your tailor???)
  401. After testing the dressing room doors...all 6 of then, they have to ask "Are the dressing rooms locked?"
  402. You tell them what they owe is say $5.40 and proceed to give you $10.80 or some other odd change amount to where it was pointless to give you the change.
  403. You are out of fives and you tell them sorry about the ones I'm out of fives and they still ask "can I get a five for this".
  404. They begin telling you their life story. Like we actually care.
  405. You ask them for an I.D. and they act like you just insulted their mother.
  406. You ask them for an I.D. and they pull out stuff like, fishing license, discount card, something that is completely not gonna be taken.
  407. They try to buy $200 worth of stuff with a check and then claim they "left their I.D. in the car" and go out to "get it", never to return.
  408. They ask if they can keep the hangers on everything.
  409. They drink a soda or eat some junk food from the store then claim that they brought it in with them.
  410. They show up at the store in general. :)
  411. They hoard a million scratch tickets for you to have to run through the machine at one time.
  412. They expect you to let them "slide" if they don't have a couple cents. it gets annoying.
  413. The customer bounced a check at your store and still gets pissed that they can't write a check in your store. You run their check through the check scanner and it won't accept it, and then they give you some story about how they have over $10,000 dollars in their account and yell at you like it's your fault.
  414. They ask you to carry something that it huge like 300 feet instead of just going up to the front of the store and getting a cart.
  415. They buy a video game, you check it and make sure it's not damaged, etc, yet they come back later that day, games broken, with strawberry jam, and says it came like that...
  416. The customer buys a 40" TV on credit, it's approved, then decide they really want a 29", so you get it approved... They decide on a 14", and its approved... then they decide, they can't afford anything and bugger off...
  417. A foreigner comes in who doesn't know English come in at 8:59 P.M., 1 minute before closing time, and wonders why you won't the next hour explaining why X model fridge is better then Z model fridge...
  418. They bring in a video player that isn't working, and upon inspection, you find, a sandwich, the kids toys, a fork or two, and then wonder why it's not covered by warranty.
  419. They live in a small house or unit, and they come in to buy a fridge. After you ask them if it will fit, they pick the largest one. Upon delivery, it doesn't fit.
  420. A customer comes in to buy a TV for her mother who isn't feeling well. Being kind hearted, you deliver it. The mother turns out to be nearly blind and deaf, but still wants you to show her how to use it...
  421. They're old people! (don't think I need to explain :-)
  422. The customer goes to casino, wins big on the poker machine. They come in with a 10 pound bucket full of coins to buy a $1500 TV (yes, this really did happen to the guy that submitted this one! All I got to say is damn!)
  423. They ask you to recommend a game for their Playstation, you pick one, then they inform you that they have half the games there...
  424. They ask for 5 scratch tickets and say pick anyone then when you pick them they say oh I don't like those ones.
  425. They turn the stereo's up so loud they distort, then argue when you tell them to turn it down...
  426. They come into a store in like a old ladies nightgown in the middle of the day and then complain to management about the fact that you're a boy with an earring in your ear.
  427. They're really heavy but think they're size is about 10 sizes smaller.
  428. They are really heavy buy a diet soda 15 bags of chocolate chip cookies, A dozen king size candy bars. (Like that diet soda will help?)
  429. They buy the same thing day in day out and for years and still need to know the price of something because they can't remember. Then when the price goes up they notice the difference.
  430. They're IQ is lower than the amount of money in their hand.
  431. They come in buy something then complain that the place down the street is $5 cheaper. (GO SHOP THERE THEN!)
  432. They leave their cigarette burning on the counter just so you can clean it up.
  433. They come in with like warm beer from another store and expect you to exchange it for cold beer.
  434. They come in with a free soda cap and your store don't take them. Then they complain well if you don't take the caps you shouldn't sell the product. (This happens in my store a lot and we're the only store in 10 miles. Fine soda companies take our machines away :) )
  435. They park their car in the front of your store take they're weeks trash out of their trunk and dump it in the store's trash barrels.
  436. They throw their no good coupons all over the stores floor.
  437. They come in with like 4 huge trash bags of cans at 1 minute before closing and then wonder why they can't finish sorting them.
  438. They come into a liquor store and when you ask to see everyone's ID one person doesn't so they ask "can we go back outside and then I just come back in?" (like that resets their visit)
  439. They park their car outside the front door and leave the car running, and the car hasn't passed inspection probably in 20 years. Leaving you to smell the fumes.
  440. They buy the top of the line computer and you know they're just gonna take it home and play solitaire.
  441. They call up for a reservation at a restaurant and ask for one at 8 o'clock then when you say sorry we're booked between 6-9 they ask well what about 7 o'clock
  442. You are standing at your register with the light on and other customers in your line and they STILL ask you if you are open.
  443. They walk off with their groceries before their check is approved.
  444. They say that is not the way they do it at (any other stores name here). Well we're not at that store are we?
  445. You just clocked out for your 15 minute break and the customer stops you.
  446. They reach around, across, or over your keyboard for a pen, without asking, and knocking everything off in the process.
  447. They call on the phone and request prices on a few items, after looking up the prices you start reading them off and then they say "wait a minute until I get something to write with"
  448. They see you standing in the checkout, ready to wait on them, and they ask...."Are you open?" DUH! We wouldn't be standing there if we weren't.
  449. They bring in like 30 cases of returns into the smallest store in the world and when you tell them they can't return that many can in this place they say something like "hey I used to work here and I had to deal with this" Well now you should know better than bringing them in here now shouldn't you!!
  450. They throw the money on the counter expecting you to collect it all and then get pissed if you don't put the change in their hand.
  451. They come up to the store before it's opened and then as your going to open the store with your keys in hand and all and they have the nerve to say "Hey they're closed"
  452. They come in to buy a pack of cigarettes and have to hold your line up while they proceed to light one and blow their stinking smoke in your face when they are only 4 feet from the exit door.
  453. Their watches are always 5 minutes fast right before it is time to open and 5 minutes slow when its time to close.
  454. They have to touch you to ask a question.
  455. They buy 23 items that all have rebates and wants every single one rang up on separate receipts.
  456. They bring 15 items to the register that are on sale but are limit three each, they proceed to explain 3 are theirs 3 are for their handicapped mother who cant leave the house and the other 9 are going to be purchased by their 4 year old triplets.
  457. A customer walks by something , like a display of something, drops it and then acts like they didn't do it.
  458. They complain as to why you don't carry such and such product for weeks, then when you get it in they don't want to buy it anymore and want to buy something else you don't carry.
  459. They come in and don't even buy anything all they want is for you to give them matches.
  460. You know for a fact that a customer has a highly intelligent job which requires a brain, yet the second they enter the store their IQ drops to that of a flea.
  461. You just mopped the floor and they come in with an inch of mud on their boots and make sure to kick the mud off on the clean floor.
  462. They can't understand that pets aren't allowed in stores and that it does include, cat, dogs, lizards, pigs, and birds of all kinds.
  463. They expect us to be able to know how all 500 or so software titles that we carry work.
  464. They expect us to provide information on products that we don't sell.
  465. They think that the stores intercom system is a free phone system for them to dial out of the store.
  466. They have the nerve to tell you "you know someone's gonna slip on that floor" as your mopping up a mess some other idiot made on the floor.
  467. They come in and buy booze them wonder why they can't drink right outside the store. Duh go to a bar!
  468. They think they can get a deal because the know the owner and they can't seem to understand that the guy they knew hasn't owned the place in like 3 years.
  469. They see a poster, sign, etc for a product on sale in your store and then ask "do you have that?"
  470. They get pissed about something you did wrong like 2 weeks ago, but don't tell you what the hell it was, just get pissed.
  471. You see them pushing a carriage away from their car and let it go flying toward other cars. (Wishing your store had a separate employee parking area)
  472. They think the pic-a-mix candies are free for all and help themselves to eating as much of it as they can before leaving the store.
  473. They ask for something obviously fake trying to mess with you.
  474. They get pissed that you won't triple coupons that say right on them don't triple.
  475. They make you show them how 15 different cameras work and then don't buy them.
  476. They have to play with every single holiday item on the shelf just to annoy you.
  477. They steal the perfume samples out of magazines.
  478. They also steal the sample bottles from other products.
  479. They take a whole bunch of the "tell us how we're doing" cards and you know damn well they're gonna complain about basically everything.
  480. They have to take everything out of the packages because the box just doesn't help at all on that box of soap.
  481. They come in a buy $100 worth of stuff and they got like $25 in coupons.
  482. They just can't understand why they can't take pictures with the demo cameras.
  483. They act like they work in the store and try constantly to walk into areas that only employees should go.
  484. They don't leave their porch light on when they call for a delivery.
  485. They call up to place a order and then when you ask them for their phone number they say it's private! (Well they I guess your order is private too)
  486. They open a cooler door, but then try closing it by pushing it open further.
  487. They lose like a $100 bill in the store come back an hour later looking for it and when they don't find it they blame the store because they lost the freaking thing. (like someone is gonna turn a $100 bill in)
  488. They whip video tapes down the return slot like they won't actually make it down there on their own.
  489. They come in for a video tape and then turns out they got 15 late charges and 3 unreturned tape, and they wonder why they can't get another movie.
  490. You ask them for a photo id and they give you a credit card or something without a picture.
  491. They leave before they get their receipt and then come in 2 minutes later looking for their $5 store credit because they didn't get their receipt.
  492. You deal with only a small amount of customers and you kick someone out to never return again and they return saying it wasn't them you kicked out.
  493. They complain about their liver damage they have, but yet still want more vodka.
  494. They think they're above the laws and they can smoke, and swear as much as they want in your store.
  495. They find something on the shelf that has obviously went bad, and instead of letting a employee know they just put it back on the shelf for the next poor sap to find.
  496. They poke you with their cane for service.
  497. They can't find the rental they want on the shelf so they resort to rummaging through the returns.
  498. They can't wait for you to open a box of product on the shelf so they go ahead and do it sending half the stuff everywhere.
  499. They want 50 rain-checks for product that is still on the shelf, but they still think they can get a rain check so they can just get the sale price next week as well.
  500. They can't wait for the belt at the register to move so they start trying to find a way that they can make it move.
  501. You ask another fellow employee if you've seen your "gun" and some lameass says "Gee I hope you mean your ticket gun." (No you idiot I meant my shotgun, I'm gonna blow your head off!) hehehe
  502. They can't wait the 2 seconds for the cashiers to swap registers.
  503. When they come up to you asking for a particular book, but they don't know the title, author, or subject. They just know the cover's blue.
  504. When they let their children grab a dozen books off of the shelf and then tell them to just leave them on the table for the "nice lady to put away."
  505. When they try to use the computers clearly marked "employee use only."
  506. They go crazy every year at Christmas time for some stupid toy that their kid will use for 2 days.
  507. They continually give you a credit card that doesn't swipe day after day and just continue to say "I'm waiting for a new one to come. Should be any day"
  508. They attempt to take a much of the free samples as they can possibly get at the register.
  509. They try to use photo copies of coupons, and then wonder why we won't take them.
  510. They want to know why you don't carry a particular item.
  511. Like we're the one who decides what the store carries.
  512. They think we are technical support and then get mad when we are not able to tell them why their computer, printer, fax machine, etc. isn't working or how to fix it. They think that if we sell it, then we should know how to fix it.
  513. They make you bring out 20 different pairs of shoes and waste an hour trying them on and don't buy even a shoelace.
  514. They come into a restaurant 10 minutes before closing then proceed to take 2 hours to eats, lounge, etc. Then get crabby when you boot them out so you can go home.
  515. You are cashing out a person and the total is, say, $6.84. they dig and dig in their purse or pocket for the $.84, when all they are going to get back is $.16. big deal!! What's another $.16??? I can understand if it is just a few cents over the dollar, but geez!!
  516. They call you on the phone and ask you if you have a particular item, upon doing this they then ask you to hold it for them. This goes on until you have been all over the store doing their shopping for them and they don't show up to get the items, thus causing you to put them all back up.
  517. They get pissed off when their layaway has been returned after they haven't paid on it in four months.
  518. They come in around the holidays and say "boy, I am glad I don't have YOUR job!" as you are stooping over to pick up merchandise they have knocked in the floor.
  519. They were conceived.
  520. They can't comprehend that the sales tax is 7% in Allegheny County where they are buying their stuff and 6% in Westmoreland where they live.
  521. They ask what deals are going on.
  522. They ask for the biggest, baddest, most powerful computer capable telling them the future, playing games, internet surfing, and running NASA and when they find out a computer like that will cost about two grand decide on a $499 P.O.S.
  523. They buy a $499 computer and expect it to actually work for any extended period of time (look, I understand if you don't have the money but then save it for something that will work!).
  524. They come up to me and ask for a AMD Athlon 600mHz with 128MB RAM, CDRW Drive, DVD, and a good video card, with a 19 inch monitor and a laser printer and hope to stay under $1000 before rebates.
  525. They ask if I "know anything" about (fill in the blank). No, Computer stores make a habit of hiring uneducated, stupid people like you!
  526. They start to hand me their credit cards or checks even though there is no register within sight for about 30 feet and I don't even ring them up and haven't even told them their total yet.
  527. They come up to me and tell me that they'd like to pay for something. Great, go pay for it. At the register where everyone else does that you had to pass at least 6 times before you got to me to ask your stupid question.
  528. They try to tell me I'm racist because I'm not helping them, even though the real reason is I have 8 other customers before them. As if I haven't heard that stupid cry before!
  529. They ask where the ink cartridges are located even though I have every screen saver on every computer saying where, approximately 25 signs around the store saying where, and two huge signs when you walk in saying where.
  530. They want you to compare X product with Z product. Do what I'm going to do for you: Read the back of each box and then make an educated (key word there) guess.
  531. They expect me to know the exact specs on every item in astore that has literally 100,000 square feet of product and receives at least 3 full pallets of new stuff everyday.
  532. They rush me to find something for them, and since they can't read the 10 foot by 4 foot sign that reads Modems/Internet, I take them there but they are about 39 paces behind me taking their merry ole time.
  533. They say (insert a store name) is giving a $100 instant rebate and will we match the price? No, they don't have it in stock? Then why would I match it? Anyone can give any instant rebates if they don't have it in stock. Here, ill give you $2,000 cash back...but I don't have it...
  534. They reach right onto my shirt and take my pen.
  535. They call and expect you to explain EVERY computer spec on the computer line over the phone instead of draggin their lazy asses in to see for themselves.
  536. The store ad says "limit 1 per customer" so they think if they go through the line 6 damn times so they can buy the same damn thing for each of their 6 great-great-grandchildren. Maybe one time they'll fool us and we'll think they're 6 different people.
  537. They beg me 90 times to get something from behind a counter for them because the salesman in that department is busy with the other 7 customers ahead of them. So I get it and they have to wait because that particular item has to be rung up at that particular cash register! Ha!
  538. They ask for Dells or Microns. Dells and Microns are special-order only computers, you should know that if you listened for one second to the commercials that informed you that they exist!
  539. They let their kids run with arms outstretched down the software isles and know every GD thing off of the shelf and have the nerve to yell at you when you stop their kids!
  540. They walk into the back stock area past the employees only sign where all of the computers and monitors are stacked 10 feet high, a ladder is lying around, and no other customers are around, and can't figure out why you are asking them if they could step out of the back stock area.
  541. They ask you if you're busy when you have a 21 inch monitor hiked up on your shoulders, or when you are leaving with sunglasses and a jacket on with a drink or food in your hand.
  542. They ask what the two prices are. Gee there is a computer and a monitor underneath the two prices. Could it be that one price is for the monitor and one for the computer?
  543. They want to do some off the wall stuff, like hook 8 computers up to one monitor, using two keyboards, six mice, and one printer and get really upset when we don't have the adapter for them.
  544. They have some age old machine with connections that Jesus isn't old enough to have ever seen and expect us to know EXACTLY what they are looking for.
  545. They would rather spend $600 to upgrade their machine to something still out of date rather than spend $599 for a brand new computer 8X as fast.
  546. They ask how to spell CompUSA.
  547. They stand over you if you're doing something with your attention diverted and expect you to telepathically know that they need help without them saying anything, when instead you're scared sh!tless when you turn around and find someone within breathing distance of your face.
  548. They interrupt your $7,000 sale to ask about some stupid stuff that you have to explain 6 times to them while your nice customer gets upset and leaves.
  549. They say they're waiting for the price of a 17" $2500 LCD Panel Flat monitor to "come down" in price. Of course they settle for a $100 14 inch monitor.
  550. They ask you to quote them on this gorgeous elaborate system that you know is only in their wildest dreams to afford.
  551. They are standing in your way when you have about 7 tons of equipment you're pushing, and you have to repeat in 8 different languages to GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!!!!
  552. They need you to add up $500 for a monitor, $1500 for a computer, etc....
  553. They come into store that just sells computers and ask for furniture, record players, or some other thing that seems obvious to me that we don't carry.
  554. They say "I was just across the street" real secret-like, like they can't speak the name of our competitor.
  555. They bring their kid in the store that professes to their parents to be a computer whiz but doesn't know more than his/her ego.
  556. They shop for computers for gifts 7 months away and expect you to spend hours with them...people technology changes so fast you'll be lucky to see the same things in 7 DAYS!
  557. They carry around the "for display only" boxes and can't figure out why the damn thing is so light.
  558. They pull into the handicap spots in front of the store to beat all of the other customers that have to park farther away to get the Pokemon stuff quicker.
  559. They wave at you from 1000 feet away to get your attention.
  560. They exist, and for that reason, we have to work on Christmas Eve instead of being with my family. Shop beforehand you morons!
  561. They walk around the store pointing at price tags and saying "oh, $1599?", like they want you to confirm every price.
  562. They tell you "no I don't have questions" but proceed to ask them as you're walking away anyways.
  563. They say ridiculous stuff like "My salesperson told me that if I couldn't hook up my computer (because I can't read instructions or match color plugs to color receptacles) they would immediately dispatch a tech to my house" PLEASE?!?
  564. They get mad because you couldn't find them after they disappeared to God knows where when you had 5 intelligent customers waiting where everyone else does.
  565. They leave the shopping baskets at the end of the registers.
  566. They come up with an item with no price and claim they got it in the clearance section when you KNOW that they didn't.
  567. If an item doesn't scan within the first 2 tries they think they are clever and original by saying "If it doesn't scan, that means its free, right?" NO, that means you are an idiot.
  568. They decide they do not need a 50 lb bag of dog food right when they arrive at the register.
  569. They come to your register when the light is out. Then get pissed off when you tell them you are closed.
  570. The excited new homeowner takes a FLASH photo of their electrician (me) as I carefully work inside an ENERGIZED electrical panel.
  571. They want you to stuff and cram everything into one bag even though you know quite well that this isn't happening. Then they get pissed when the bag splits.
  572. You tell them management told you are not allowed to do something (ie fix watches) and they look at your name tag, call you by your first name and tell you _____ ( your name here), we are friends, you can do it. c'mon... hello retard, I've never seen you in my whole life.. also, I'd rather be a total loner than have dumb friends like you.
  573. They think that even though you're several inches shorter you can reach stuff on the top shelf.
  574. They want CD of an artist they saw last night on PBS, but don't understand that the CD is a special edition freebie for people who pledge.
  575. They walk down a 10 foot aisle with one sale tag on it and think the whole aisle is the sale price.
  576. They come up to your when your are standing on the top of a ladder with a huge item from the top shelf and ask you if you are busy or jokingly go "oh don't fall".
  577. They ask for a discount if they buy a quantity. When asked what quantity, they reply TWO
  578. They buy an item that totals $6.37, they hand you a $10 bill and say "I don't have enough change." Two seconds later after putting in $10 as the amount they speak up and say, "Here's a nickel, just give me the $3 and sixty some odd cents."
  579. You are eighteen years old, very responsible, and work for a major hardware company by yourself half the time and customers demand to speak to someone else twice your age.
  580. They mention you and your fellow employees by name....not because you are wearing name tags...but because they actually have taken the time to remember you.
  581. You are doing your own grocery shopping and they ask you where things are and you don't even work in grocery. They recognize you from the department store at the mall.
  582. They blame you, the lowly clerk, for item prices, return policies, defective merchandise and other things well beyond your control.
  583. They think deserve a discount because the item is broken (especially after they just smashed it when you weren't looking), or they don't have enough money, or because they're from Canada....really, someone said that to me.
  584. They yell at you for running out of Gameboy colors and still having display boxes. (OK I'll gladly get fired because I don't have mandatory marketing material up)
  585. They get angry with you because the fed ex guy hasn't delivered the new game yet.
  586. They ask if you have a product in, you confirm that you do and they immediately ask "really?" (no, I was lying to get your hopes up so I could cruelly dash them later mwahahahaha)
  587. You tell them you are out of Pokemon cards and they still ask ", but do you have booster packs?" (what did I just tell you??? )
  588. They blame you for Rainbow six for Dreamcast getting pushed back on a regular basis
  589. They walk in a store and you say "how are you today?" and they say "I'm just looking" (THAT'S NOT WHAT I ASKED YOU!! unless, "just looking" is a new way of saying "I'm a great big jackass and I feel great"...)
  590. You're on the Express Lane, and 2 customers put their groceries so close together you can't tell whose is whose. So you guess and at the point where you aren't sure you pick up something and ask the first customer "Is this yours?" and if it's the second customer always says "No it's mine... but she can pay for it if she likes!" and laughs so hard like they've been sooo original. (And this happens to me about 5 times a day at least)
  591. You're busy ringing up their order and it's something that you have to do a few things with like a check (that needs to be printed and read and everything).. and the customer is standing there and sees you haven't even STOPPED and barks at you "BAGS please!" like you've totally forgotten to give them their bags (they pack their own) and you haven't even had a CHANCE.
  592. They write a check for $5 or under. it's really irritating when you see a few 20's in their pocketbook/purse but yet they still insist on writing that damn check.
  593. You tow their car from the "customers only, 1 hour parking" at 11:30 and they come in at 6pm, griping that their wallet was in the car. Well, heck, had I known that, I would have sent it to the seedy part of town instead of the 'burbs.
  594. They ask "Can I ask you a question?" I promise someday the answer will be, "that was it. Have a nice day."
  595. They are sure to let you know that their order is to go when they go through the drive-thru.
  596. It snows out like crazy, and you have to go to work and some moron comes in raving about having a four-wheel drive truck and can get around in this weather. He buys nothing. Why did he go out and these morons are the reason we have to go to work even when it takes twice as long to get there.
  597. Each every single one of them has to remind you how hot or cold it is outside.