I'm An Outlaw
I'm an outlaw.
There, I've said it. I never told anyone outside of my family before. I was married two months before I found out. I must say it took me by surprise. How can you be an outlaw and not know it you ask?
I'll tell you.
My husband's family makes a pilgrimage to Jackson each year for the annual family reunion. There we catch up on all the latest news on this warm, talented family. My first experience with this family was in 1972 while David and I were just dating. I remember being wide eyed and in awe of this wonderful family. There were doctors, lawyers, business owners, musicians and other creative people in attendance. I had never been made to feel so welcome in my life.
The next Christmas, I discovered I was an outlaw.
David and I had been married for a short time when the annual family reunion rolled around. I looked forward to going with great anticipation. I kept remembering the warm reception I had received the year before and couldn't wait to join in the fun and laughter again.
We arrived amidst lots of hugs and kisses. I think I must have glowed with all the compliments the maternal aunts bestowed upon me. I remember thinking, this is how families should be -- always happy to see each other. I never had that growing up. My father died when I was young and his mother took my siblings and me from my mother, then placed us in a children's home, when it was discovered my grandmother had cancer. There was no warmth in her or the children's home -- no sense of family.
Mamma Knight, David's grandmother, was the matriarch of the family. She had me come sit beside her so she could get to know her new granddaughter. Each one of her daughters would come and steal me away to do the same. My wonderful mother-in-law would walk up behind me and put her arms around me while they were talking to me and say, "how do you like my new daughter-in-law? Isn't she beautiful and sweet?" She almost had me believing it.
Just when I was floating on air with happiness, the uncles came as a group to talk to me.
I eagerly turned my face to them expecting more of the same treatment I had already received. Uncle Bill spoke up first. "We are here to let you know that you will NEVER be an in-law in this family".
"That's right, you tell her Bill," said Uncle George.
The whole time Uncle John was nodding his head in agreement.
I was stunned. My mind raced to figure out what I had done wrong. How did I offend these men? My tongue was tied and I thought I would start crying.
All I could do was stare from one to another wishing the floor would take me away. Why couldn't Aunt Roselle, Aunt Bernice or Aunt Edith come steal me away now? Where was my protective mother-in-law? I glanced around the room and saw everyone glance my way with a smile on their face. Had I been found lacking during the getting to know you talks?
Uncle Bill continued, "You are now an outlaw."
With those words my brain went numb. I couldn't even think of a way to excuse myself.
"Roselle, Bernice, Edith and Grace are our in-laws."
I nodded, wondering why he was changing the subject.
"You, John, George, Hank and I are outlaws. In this family, to be an in-law, you must be born into it. If you marry into the family you are an out-law. Your children will be in-laws, but you will always be an outlaw."
Now I get it! I'm was being included in a family joke that has been going on for years. Wow, what a relief!
Now 27 years later, I am able to say to my new daughter-in-laws as they come into the family, "You are an outlaw along with me, but your children will be in-laws."