Things Insomniacs Think About...
  1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
  2. If people from Poland are called "Poles" why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
  3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What exactly is a "whack"?
  4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
  6. Why do women wear evening gowns to night-clubs? Shouldn't they wear night gowns?
  7. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  8. If someone offers you a penny are you obliged to tell them what you're thinking?
  9. Why is the man who invests all your money called a "broker"? Shouldn't he be a "richer"?
  10. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
  11. Why does soured cream have a "use by" date?
  12. When cheese is photographed, what does it say?
  13. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
  14. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
  15. If horrific means horrible, why doesn't terrific mean terrible?
  16. If 21 is twenty-one why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?
  17. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could the longest sentence be "I do"?
  18. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be de-lighted, musicians de-noted, cowboys de-ranged, models de-posed & dry cleaners de-pressed?
  19. Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint on it you have to touch it to be sure?
  20. Why is it if someone eats or drinks something which tastes awful they immediately offer it to the nearest person and say "Taste that"?