The Meanest Mom in the World...
We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for
breakfast, we had to have cereal, juice, and toast. When others had a Coke and a
Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess that our mom fixed
us dinners that were much different from what other kids had, too.
Mom insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in
a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an
hour or less. She wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They
had to come up to the door so she could meet them.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws
by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum
the floor, do laundry, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night
thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds, and life was really tough.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None
of us has ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing others' property, or arrested for
any crime. It was all her fault. We never had that first drink, never lit up a single
cigarette, never stayed out all night, and never did a million other things other kids
did.
Sundays were reserved for church services, and we never missed once. We knew
better than to ask to spend the night with a friend on Saturdays.
Now that we have left home, we are all God-fearing, educated, honest adults. We are
doing our best to be mean parents just like our mom was.
The world just doesn't have enough mean moms anymore.