You Might Be A Yooper If...
  1. Your wife's Lady Remington is a 30-06...
  2. Your snowmobile costs more than your kid's college education...
  3. Your wife's night gown says Fred Bear Archery...
  4. A trip to the islands means Mackinac and Bois Blanc...
  5. You're on a first name basis with the clerk at the Michigan State Unemployment Office...
  6. You install your snow tires in early September...
  7. You think working at McDonalds' means making the big bucks...
  8. Your best clothes are reversible; Blaze Orange to Camouflage...
  9. Going south for the winter means going to Escanaba...
  10. You think that Iron Mountain is a prime example of a big city in urban decay...
  11. You think the expression "to open a can of worms" means " to go fishing"...
  12. You think that a Big Mac and a shake refers to the Bridge on a windy day...
  13. People in Wisconsin act superior to you...
  14. Your kid "aced" the 3rd grade...on his 9th try...
  15. A new car means a 1972 AMC Gremlin...
  16. Being a "Red Wing fan" means you like their new line of hiking boots...
  17. You watched the "Ricki Lake Show" because you thought it was a show about fishing...
  18. You answer the question "How many UP'ers does it take to change a light bulb?"
  19. with "None, we don't have electricity"...
  20. You consider Velcro to be high tech...
  21. You think that "The Straits of Mackinac" refers to the heterosexual population on the island...
  22. You think that the Mackinac ferry refers to, well, you know...
  23. You view working the drive-through window as an important career advancement...
  24. You only know Ted Nugent for his archery equipment...
  25. You think the phrase "It's all down hill from here" is an advertisement for the local Ski lodge...
  26. Your telephone number has 3 digits...or less...
  27. You think that a 6 pack of Strohs, a bag of Doritos, salsa and bean dip cover 4 of the 7 basic food groups...
  28. You think your family tree is the one in the backyard with the tire swing...
  29. You saw a sign that said "Drink Canada Dry" and you've been trying ever since...
  30. You think Canadian Club is the hockey team from Wawa, Ontario, EH?...
  31. Your car phone is a rotary model with a loooooong cord...
  32. You didn't go see the movie Malcom X because you missed Malcom I through IX...
  33. You can ice fish 9 months of the year...
  34. You think that poached eggs means they were stolen from your neighbor's chickens...
  35. You think that the Board of Education is the paddle the teacher womps your butt with...
  36. You think the sign in every bar that says NO MINORS SERVED is occupationally biased...
  37. You think the sign saying FINE FOR PARKING means this is a really good spot...
  38. You consider Membership in the Michigan Militia as a viable military career...
  39. Your Jr. High School has a mandatory class titled Chainsaw Operation and Repair...
  40. You know 37 ways to prepare meals from roadkill...
  41. Your idea of deer hunting is driving down the logging roads in your 4 wheel drive WITHOUT your gun...
  42. When sent for a jack, you bring back a fifth of Lynchberg Tennessee's finest...
  43. Your summer shirts are plaid wool (same as your winter shirts)...
  44. Your mosquito repellent doubles as your aftershave...
  45. Your daily log is something you burn for heat...
  46. Your ice fishing shanty is better furnished than your house...
  47. You think ice beer is leaving a 6 pack of Old Style outside overnight...
  48. You think that The Milwaukee Brewers and the Green Bay Packers are labor unions in Wisconsin...
  49. Your favorite bar plays both kinds of music, Country AND Western...
  50. Indoor plumbing is something you want to have someday...
  51. You consider a thunderstorm as a drive thru car wash...
  52. Your wife's new fur coat came from animals you trapped yourself...
  53. You think Barney Rubble deserves an Emmy as Best Supporting Actor...
  54. Your local meat market sells daily roadkill specials...
  55. Nothing in your living room clashes with your stuffed moose head...
  56. Your local bowling alley has 6 lanes so there's no waiting...
  57. People admiring your earthtone carpet suddenly realize it really is the earth...
  58. Your county library has 1 book, "Dick and Jane"...
  59. You still have all your original teeth, you just keep them in a jar on the shelf...
  60. You know 16 ways to cook a raccoon...
  61. Your local record store still has brand new 8 track tapes for sale...
  62. You think a Laundromat is something soft to kneel on when you wash your clothes in the creek...
  63. Your new goose down pillow was migrating south yesterday...
  64. Your local movie theater is offering "Gone With The Wind" as a first run feature presentation...
  65. Your local doctor is also the veterinarian, auto mechanic....and the school bus driver...
  66. All of your available radio stations can be preset on the car radio's 6 buttons---3 times...
  67. You're a witness to a spectacular car crash! Just imagine, what are the odds of both cars in the UP being in the same place at the same time...
  68. Your friends give you a really cool nick name, like "Stinky"...
  69. The term "Up North" refers to land due south of your house...
  70. You fertilize the lawn by letting the cows out of the barn...
  71. You burn your kid's Statistics text book as pornography, after all it had 1 whole chapter on standard deviations. You think that they will learn about leather, whips and sheep soon enough...
  72. You find your car when you cut your grass...
  73. You consider a six pack of beer and a bug zapper quality entertainment....
  74. You have more insurance on your snowmobile than your car...
  75. You refer to winter mittens and hat as "choppers" and a "chook", respectfully...
  76. You think traveling cross-country means traveling from The Soo to Green Bay...
  77. Your favorite band is Da Yoopers...
  78. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof...