You Might Be A Preacher If...
  1. You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover you were.
  2. You're leading the church into the 21st century, but you don't know what you're preaching on Sunday.
  3. A church picnic is no picnic.
  4. You've ever wondered why people couldn't die at more appropriate times.
  5. It's Sunday, but Monday's coming!
  6. Instead of getting "ticked off," you get "grieved in your spirit."
  7. You've ever been tempted to take an offering at a family reunion.
  8. You'd rather talk to people with every head bowed and every eye closed.
  9. You've ever wanted to "lay hands" on a deacon's neck.
  10. Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.
  11. You've ever stretched the truth at a funeral.
  12. You've ever suffered anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia Pursuit.
  13. You get your second wind when you say "And in conclusion..."
  14. The ideas you bounce off board members really do.
  15. You've seen more religion at a pool hall than you've seen at a Church Soft Ball Game.
  16. Your Bible has more side notes than printed text.
  17. You jiggle all the toilet handles before you leave the church building.