You Know You Are From Silicon Valley When...
  1. You make $100,000 a year, yet still can't find a place to live.
  2. Your commute time is 45 minutes and you live 8 miles away from work.
  3. Stop asking how much things cost but, ask "How long will it take?"
  4. Two-Thirds of the people you know are from Boston or New York, but you are living in PST.
  5. Know vast differences difference between Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Cantonese, and Korean food.
  6. Your home computer contains mostly hardware/software that is not on the consumer market yet.
  7. Go to "The City" on weekends but don't live there because you like your car.
  8. Think that "I'm going to Fry's." is an acceptable excuse to leave the office for a while, and your boss does too.
  9. Lost your alarm clock. You'll get to work when you get there.
  10. Go to an industrial-heavy-metal bar and see two guys get into a fight over what flavor of Unix is better.
  11. Own more than 10 articles of clothing that have hardware/software companies printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
  12. "Your best buys..." you know the rest.
  13. You know where Woz Way, Resistor Ave, and Floppy Dr are located.
  14. You know who Woz is.
  15. You know 280 North runs west, and 680 N runs East.
  16. Even though Microsoft employs quite a few programmers in the Bay Area, they only work on Powerpoint, and the company is still the embodiment of Satan.
  17. Even if their stock IS worth more than yours.
  18. You see a billboard that says "FPGA2ASIC" and aren't phased.
  19. When you need the updated Diamond Monster 3D drivers, you just walk across the street.
  20. You have more bandwidth in your apartment or condo than most major universities.
  21. You have to hire security to keep the panhandlers off your terrace (Oakland/Berkeley).
  22. None of the people you work with are bible thumpers.
  23. You scan yard sales for back issues of "Dr. Dobbs."
  24. Your favorite computer reseller speaks only Cantonese.
  25. Your work place vending machines dispense "100% natural twig-bars" right next to Jolt cola and Instant Espresso mix.
  26. No one brings radio's into work - they just use RealAudio and listen to thedj.com, rebelradio.com, or other out of state stations.
  27. You have a personal relationship with a master vintner in Napa.
  28. Your friends just bought a $500,000 fixer-upper.
  29. When your work station crashes you wave crystals over it to help it heal.
  30. You had a personal web site long before IBM, Apple or Microsoft ever even heard of the internet.
  31. The most successful relationship of your life is with someone you have never met in person.
  32. When you see a guy wearing a propeller beanie walking on the beach at Santa Cruz, you don't laugh, your stop and pay homage, because you know he's a rich programmer who's stock just went public.
  33. You give someone your E-mail address BEFORE you give them your phone number.
  34. You know how to pronounce over a dozen Indian (not Native American) surnames.
  35. You can't find any ties when your wife wants to go to the one restaurant within a hundred miles that requires one.
  36. You consider charity to be investing in a risky startup.
  37. You consider rose' wine drinkers to be poor white trash.
  38. Your European vacation consisted of a week of meetings in a windowless room in Scotland, and an hour of shopping at the duty-free in Heathrow.