Top 10 Signs The Police Chief Doesn't Like You
  1. He refers to you as "our mascot."
  2. Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol.
  3. Your locker is also the broom closet.
  4. The job description in your contract includes "crash test dummy" and "pepper-spray test subject."
  5. He sends you on drug raids - alone.
  6. He always tells you that only wussies call for back-up.
  7. He makes up "missing persons" and then sends you to look for them.
  8. You always get the patrol car with the flat tire, no gas, a dead battery, and a broken air conditioner.
  9. He lied to you about an "officer exchange program" and put you on a plane to Siberia.
  10. He doesn't like to be seen with you in public.