The Top 10 Complaints of the Romulan Intelligence Agency
  1. Federation keeps smuggling loads of "Coed Naked Parise's Squares" T-shirts to Romulan universities.
  2. Every other officer is a clone of Tasha Yar.
  3. "Romulan" is an anagram for "unmoral".
  4. Shoulder pads on our new uniforms are so big we look like a Vulcanoid version of the Green Bay Packers.
  5. Commissary at Agency HQ serves watered-down Romulan ale.
  6. Ever since we blew up our own Vulcan invasion force, it's been impossible to get volunteers for the next one.
  7. Name "Enterprise" sounds suspiciously like Romulan phrase "enn t'rp reis" meaning "your mother sucks eggs".
  8. All of Sela's big plans work about as well as lead balloons.
  9. Stole the blueprints for the Federation's proposed Escher class starship, but can't make head nor tail out of them.
  10. $800 million credit cloaked surveillance satellite in Earth orbit was supposed to monitor Starfleet HQ, but only picks up MTV instead.