Occupational Descriptions
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of
nothing.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and
wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted
yesterday didn't happen today.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality
to be an accountant.
A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a
way you don't understand.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a
"brief."
A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl
enters the room.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A schoolteacher is a disillusioned person who used to think they liked
children.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the
time.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hades in such a way that you
will look forward to the trip.