New Dress Code
Many of you have expressed disappointment over the implementation of our new casual
dress policy on Fridays. Some of you have mentioned a drop in productivity, some of
you have told me about jeans ripped in distracting places, and still others have
complained about a drop in morale due to "flashbacks to bad college experiences."
I have taken your complaints to heart, and beginning next week, Fridays will be
formalwear only. For men, this means tuxedos. For women, party dresses. Black is
preferrable for both sexes. Also, women will be required to wear corsages, and men
must wear a top hat and carry a cane. We are having a parquet floor installed in the
lounge to facilitate ballroom dancing.