Office Party

First of all, a hearty congratulations is in order. This past quarter is officially the most profitable quarter in our company's history! Earnings are up 43%, and every single division is reporting record sales. With over 200 million dollars in revenue this year alone, our company is fast becoming one of the biggest, most profitable companies in the industry, and we owe ourselves a rollicking good time to celebrate! Which brings me to this year's holiday party. The company holiday party will take place on December 22nd, at the Lucky Cow Pavilion. Normally a livestock showroom and bingo parlor, the Lucky Cow will be ours to use from 6pm to midnight.

Employees are strongly encouraged to bring:
  1. Snacks
  2. Beverages
  3. Decorations
  4. Wait staffers
  5. Tables
  6. Chairs
  7. DJ or band
  8. Garbage bags
  9. Twistie ties (see #8)
  10. Boots (it IS a livestock showroom)
  11. Nose plugs (see explanation for #10)
  12. Mistletoe (PDAs strictly forbidden; see memo Re: Interoffice Romance)
Again, I must express how delighted I am with the progress we're making. You have all made me very proud, and I look forward to watching this company grow and succeed with each passing year. I regret that I will not be able to attend the holiday party, as I have a previous engagement.

Happy Holidays!